I found a wonderful Elder Law Attorney who created all the legal documents that I had needed, and she will call any time there is a change in the Federal or State law so we can tweak any of the documents.
When I noticed my parents legal documents were older than dirt, I convinced them to see my Attorney and get their paperwork all current. With a stoke of luck, everything got signed as a few months later my parents had medical issues where they would no longer have been able to make any legal changes.
What’s the difference between a will and a living will? My husband and I each have a will. My mother has her will. She named me executrix. Can I refuse being executrix? She lives in a hoarder mess and god only knows where anything is.
It is to express our wishes as to what we desire. For instance, I do not want resuscitation if there is no hope. Just let me go. I don’t want anyone having to pull the plug on me.
You don’t have to but you need to update the paperwork and assign someone else if your mom desires to have a replacement for you.
I guess that is what the nurse and social worker arranged for me in the hospital for my mom.
I need to set up something for my husband and me. Just been delaying it but it should be taken care. I am going to make it a priority because after reading the responses I realize how much it does matter.
We did ours 2 years ago and need to re-visit them now that retirement is looming. It's nice to have everything in one place.
No plan IS a plan. I have been pretty straightforward about what I want, Dh doesn't care and assumes he will go first and I can handle it.
We used a lawyer we really trusted and it was worth every cent. He had ideas and ways of planning that will give the kids the most inheritance, if we don't require the principal of our investments to live on (LTC). Our kids are all far better off than we are, financially, and expect nothing.
I have filled out my Advanced Directive, DH refuses to do so (again, putting this all on me) and so rather than argue with him, I just figure I'll deal with that when the time comes.
I need to pay for the niches for our cremains and the cremation itself. I've planned my 'service' and again, DH is leaving his all up to me.
This is a great gift you can give your kids. I remember my FIL's dying and the mess it was to sort through his half done paperwork---what a nightmare.
Well, all of you are ahead of me. I took care of it for my mom but my husband and I never got around to it. We need to.
I know it’s smart. I suppose that I always had it in the back of my mind because of caregiving but since my husband’s cancer diagnosis I started thinking about it again.
I guess it’s something that should come more naturally to all of us in today’s times where everything should be spelled out due to making sure of any personal and legal issues.
I think when my caregiving was over I emotionally didn’t want to face it. I wanted a break from all aspects of healthcare. I suppose that isn’t a very wise decision that I made but I do plan to get started on it.
I know what my wishes are and my husband’s desires so it’s just a matter of paperwork.
Alva or Tothill, could you please explain the term advance directive to me in detail? Is this different from a living will?
I remember when I set up mom’s wishes the nurse and social worker helped me and I don’t remember it all. It was during an ER visit to the hospital and there was other paperwork when she entered rehab at the nursing home.
I updated my Will, my Financial POA, my Health Care Representative and my Advanced Directive 5 years ago.
My Mum updated her documents about 4 years ago, but plans to update them again as my step dad died 2 years ago.
I am POA and Executrix for Mum and I am very aware of what level of medical intervention she would want. I also know that she has prepaid for her cremation and a Memorial service would be held at her Church.
Me, I also plan to be cremated, but I have not prepaid for it yet. I am not religious, so a memorial service in a church is not important to me. I would rather a catered picnic for friends and family.
My brother is POA and Executor for Dad. I have no idea what Dad's final wishes are. Luckily we had a huge 90th birthday party for him in 2019. People got to share their memories and stories and it was a lovely event.
As a nurse I have had an advanced directive and Trust and Will done for many many years. I have witnessed firsthand how quickly life can change. Again, because of being a nurse the advanced directive is very complete, refusing such things as Renal Dialysis and artificially administer nutrition. I have discussed all my wishes with all of my family members. Interesting topic for discussion, this. I think many on Forum will be up to date, but that is perhaps because we have experience of all of this. More and more hopsitals and doctors are asking patients to have Advanced Directives. As to Wills and Trusts, I do wonder what proportion of population over 50 have this in place.
Absolutely and with copies on file at my local hospital, my doc's office, and my primary contact (my best friend).
Early on in the military they push for everyone to have a will. After seeing so many young people dying from various reasons, having all end of life items complete and current is a laser focus of mine.
I have a will, while I can't say it is a living will, while caregiving was not the reason for me to set this up, it was inbred in me growing up to always have a plan and then a back up plan, always be prepared.
I would advise great care with LTC insurance. Like Reverse Mortgages, it is not that it is a bad idea in all cases, but that it can be very very tricky. This is one time to read ALL THE SMALL PRINT. There are some policies that will not pay for a place without a full time RN on duty. And that, to be frank, doesn't happen. I have seem way too many stories here. So just take care.
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When I noticed my parents legal documents were older than dirt, I convinced them to see my Attorney and get their paperwork all current. With a stoke of luck, everything got signed as a few months later my parents had medical issues where they would no longer have been able to make any legal changes.
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You don’t have to but you need to update the paperwork and assign someone else if your mom desires to have a replacement for you.
I need to set up something for my husband and me. Just been delaying it but it should be taken care. I am going to make it a priority because after reading the responses I realize how much it does matter.
No plan IS a plan. I have been pretty straightforward about what I want, Dh doesn't care and assumes he will go first and I can handle it.
We used a lawyer we really trusted and it was worth every cent. He had ideas and ways of planning that will give the kids the most inheritance, if we don't require the principal of our investments to live on (LTC). Our kids are all far better off than we are, financially, and expect nothing.
I have filled out my Advanced Directive, DH refuses to do so (again, putting this all on me) and so rather than argue with him, I just figure I'll deal with that when the time comes.
I need to pay for the niches for our cremains and the cremation itself. I've planned my 'service' and again, DH is leaving his all up to me.
This is a great gift you can give your kids. I remember my FIL's dying and the mess it was to sort through his half done paperwork---what a nightmare.
I was wondering if an attorney is the way to go. I did not have an attorney for mom’s.
Geeeez, what would your hubby do without YOU? He is blessed to have you!
Yes, I do want this in place for us and the children.
I know it’s smart. I suppose that I always had it in the back of my mind because of caregiving but since my husband’s cancer diagnosis I started thinking about it again.
I guess it’s something that should come more naturally to all of us in today’s times where everything should be spelled out due to making sure of any personal and legal issues.
I think when my caregiving was over I emotionally didn’t want to face it. I wanted a break from all aspects of healthcare. I suppose that isn’t a very wise decision that I made but I do plan to get started on it.
I know what my wishes are and my husband’s desires so it’s just a matter of paperwork.
Alva or Tothill, could you please explain the term advance directive to me in detail? Is this different from a living will?
I remember when I set up mom’s wishes the nurse and social worker helped me and I don’t remember it all. It was during an ER visit to the hospital and there was other paperwork when she entered rehab at the nursing home.
My Mum updated her documents about 4 years ago, but plans to update them again as my step dad died 2 years ago.
I am POA and Executrix for Mum and I am very aware of what level of medical intervention she would want. I also know that she has prepaid for her cremation and a Memorial service would be held at her Church.
Me, I also plan to be cremated, but I have not prepaid for it yet. I am not religious, so a memorial service in a church is not important to me. I would rather a catered picnic for friends and family.
My brother is POA and Executor for Dad. I have no idea what Dad's final wishes are. Luckily we had a huge 90th birthday party for him in 2019. People got to share their memories and stories and it was a lovely event.
Again, because of being a nurse the advanced directive is very complete, refusing such things as Renal Dialysis and artificially administer nutrition. I have discussed all my wishes with all of my family members.
Interesting topic for discussion, this. I think many on Forum will be up to date, but that is perhaps because we have experience of all of this. More and more hopsitals and doctors are asking patients to have Advanced Directives. As to Wills and Trusts, I do wonder what proportion of population over 50 have this in place.
Early on in the military they push for everyone to have a will. After seeing so many young people dying from various reasons, having all end of life items complete and current is a laser focus of mine.