Urgent: My friend's apartment complex is going to evict her if she doesn't find a way to remove her father with dementia.

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jennys Asked September 2020

Urgent: My friend's apartment complex is going to evict her if she doesn't find a way to remove her father with dementia.

My friend lives in an apartment with her kids and her father who has dementia. The father has caused many problems in the complex, and now the complex has told her if she does not remove him they will evict her promptly. She has tried to tell him he needs to live elsewhere but he keeps returning. He climbed over a back fence to get to the complex. He told the police he needed to get to her and her kids because there was a gang fight in the complex. No matter what she does, he keeps coming back and police will not remove him because he has been living with her. Her has no long-term care insurance--only Social Security, so I assume he has Medicare and could also get Medicaid secondary. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to take care of this when he is completely uncooperative and will not leave. He just keeps telling her he needs to get back to her and her kids--she tells him they are fine, but of course he doesn't retain or accept this. She is on the verge of losing her home. Help!

Alzheimer's & Dementia Dad Dementia Behaviors Multi-generational Living

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score 2 · Answer 1

Also contact the Area Agency on Aging. They may be of help.

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score 0 · Answer 2

This is a sad situation. He must be causing major problems for the complex to threaten to evict your friend. It can’t be a minor nuisance.

How long was he staying at her apartment? If the police won’t remove him, he must have been staying there awhile. Obviously management at her complex know him. A home should be a save haven for her.

Sad for him if he needs a home. Sad for her that she doesn’t have her privacy.

I am sure she is most concerned with where is she going to live if she gets kicked out. What a shame.

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score 1 · Answer 3

It’s not clear if he actually has anywhere else to live. If he doesn’t, no wonder he keeps coming back! Are you sure he has dementia? How old is he? Can he organise accommodation or not? Who lets him in? Can your friend change her locks and put a spy hole in the door, then simply not let him in? Can she contact APS to help with finding him somewhere to go? There’s not really enough information here to explain the problem.

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score 2 · Answer 4

The Father needs help - he knows it. That's why he is coming around.

This is going to sound heartless (so I am already apologising) but does this apartment not have doors?

I'm thinking the daughter needs to take some action here - not just passively opening the door.

Either open the door to him & help him - take him for a medical assesment, get a social worker referral & go from there.

Or keep the door shut. Ask him to go please go home - calling 911 to assist if he refuses. Ask APS to get involved & check into his living situation.

Your friend needs to decide what action to take. This is her apartment & her life afterall. Is she wanting others to save her?

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score 2 · Answer 5

JoAnn and Worried, I believe different states have different laws re who is a tenant, and who is not. In California, they are; other states, not always.

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score 2 · Answer 6

Your friend needs to find a way to get him placed in long term care. If social security is his only income then Medicaid will step in & help pay for a facility. Your friend should contact social services/health & human services or whatever it is called in your state and work with a case worker to get him placed. He’s a tenant whether he’s on the lease or not (be careful who you allow to move in because if they refuse to leave later, you can’t just kick them out!). Once she’s gotten social services involved, perhaps the case worker/social worker can talk to the apartment manager & advocate for her.

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score 1 · Answer 7

Where is he coming from that he feels he needs to be with you. If he is not on the lease he is not a tenant. I would get APS involved. They may be able to place him faster. If you have no POA then u may want to consider having the state take over his care. A guardian will be appointed and they will be responsible for him.

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Joann, you don’t have to be on the lease to be considered a tenant. The law is the law. He’s a tenant simply because his daughter allowed him to move in. That means neither she nor the landlord can just kick him out, he has to be formally evicted.

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score 3 · Answer 8

Jenny, sad to say, I believe the solution is that your friend needs to begin eviction proceedings against her dad if he won't leave voluntarily.

And yes, getting in touch with his doctor is a good place to start. Also, Adult Protective Services should be notified.

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score 2 · Answer 9

In what state does your friend live? Evictions are on hold in many states due to the virus. She should call Legal Aid and ask about her options for avoiding eviction while she also tries to get her dad placed somewhere more appropriate than her home.

It may be an empty threat on the part of the landlord. It's hard to evict people who are paying their rent regularly-in most states.

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He is not on the lease so not a tenant.

(0)

score 2 · Answer 10

Thank you! Thank you! My mother and father both passed after long battles with Alzheimers so I am trying to help her

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Sorry for your loss.

(0)

score 4 · Answer 11

Where is he supposed to be going when he's not at her home?

She needs to contact a social worker at the local hospital. Also perhaps an elder care attorney. Also try calling 911 when he is there, have him taken away by ambulance and refuse to take him home, citing unsafe discharge. Cruel? Not as cruel as allowing her children to become homeles.

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emts might not take him if he is alert times 3 and the friend doesn’t have poa

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score 1 · Answer 12

I would look at getting his doctor to give referral for placement. Then get him admitted Medicaid pending.

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Urgent: My friend's apartment complex is going to evict her if she doesn't find a way to remove her father with dementia.

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