Your mom will become stressed and burn out if she doesn’t get any relief. I’m so sorry that you and your family are going through this rough situation.
Is there an Al Anon group in your area that your mom can attend?
Please make a call to Council on Aging and see if he will qualify for assistance in their program. Then your mom can have a sitter for him occasionally.
Its time for Mom to stand her ground. She needs to set boundries. When he gets abusive, she just walks out. If he can do, then she needs to stop doing it. Doesn't sound like he needs 24/7 care so she needs to find something outside the house. Take a walk. Take a book to the park.
Maybe Dad needs Alcohol Anonymous. Must be others in his situation. You should not OK his behaviour. And be blunt "We r not coming back until u get rid of the anger. Its not our fault ur where you are. Its your fault.
Often cirrhosis of the liver goes along with alcoholism (but by no means does it ALWAYS). Is that the case for your Dad? Is he still drinking? And if not has he kind of morphed into what is often called a "dry drunk"? Because that alone would completely explain misplaced anger. Has Dad ever been any different? That is to say was he once a sweet guy and this has come on only now with his serious illness? Illness never improves, or seldom improves, our personality. Is your father mentally well and capable? If so it may be time to explain that he may end alone with his illness if others are unable to live with her anger and angst. Wishing you good luck going forward. If this is a case where alcoholism is involved then Al-Anon is so very needed for all family members. It is the place where you will learn that you cannot change others, but can only control your own choices, and you will get so much strength from others.
Thank you for your response. My dads illness does stem from drinking so I think that is why he feels angry all the time. Yes my dad is mentally well and capable, however, he picks and chooses when he is helpless and and when he can do everything himself. You touched on a point that I have heard from my husband and my sisters. To explain to him that his anger and behavior will cause him to push us away and he will be alone. My mom has been his caregiver and she was not up to the task but has been struggling with this as well. It breaks my heart to hear her cry every night to me about her struggles. Thank you
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Is there an Al Anon group in your area that your mom can attend?
Please make a call to Council on Aging and see if he will qualify for assistance in their program. Then your mom can have a sitter for him occasionally.
Maybe Dad needs Alcohol Anonymous. Must be others in his situation. You should not OK his behaviour. And be blunt "We r not coming back until u get rid of the anger. Its not our fault ur where you are. Its your fault.
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Has Dad ever been any different? That is to say was he once a sweet guy and this has come on only now with his serious illness? Illness never improves, or seldom improves, our personality.
Is your father mentally well and capable? If so it may be time to explain that he may end alone with his illness if others are unable to live with her anger and angst.
Wishing you good luck going forward. If this is a case where alcoholism is involved then Al-Anon is so very needed for all family members. It is the place where you will learn that you cannot change others, but can only control your own choices, and you will get so much strength from others.