My mom is bedridden and my dad is her caregiver. She won't try to eat or anything on purpose. Does anyone have advice?

I think that it is long overdue that mom gets put in a facility where she can be the responsibility of someone else. Your dad has more than paid his dues, and it's time for him to start taking care of himself. Enough is enough, and if your mom won't listen to you, your dad or even the Dr's, then it's time to cut your losses. Your mom has made her choices, and so she must now live with the consequences.

And from what you have said, your mom is on methadone. That is an opiate(narcotic), which is given to treat pain, so are you sure she's still not addicted? That could certainly be adding to her issues.

Please help your dad find the best facility for your mom, so he can have some peace and enjoy the rest of his life.

I think your dad is beyond needing a 'thank you' and if there are any thank you's to be given out, they should be coming from your mother who's taken advantage of his kindness for the past 20 years. Being a 'genuine Saint' hasn't helped your father and it's not helping him NOW that his health is being affected from all this care giving, and now baseless accusations from your mother. And she certainly IS, by the way, ON painkillers ..............Methadone is a strong narcotic used to treat moderate to severe pain in addition to being a treatment for narcotic drug addiction.

What your mother 'wants' right now needs to be secondary to what your father needs right now. Enough is enough. But those decisions need to be made BY your father once HE decides he's had enough.

Good luck.

I think you need at this point to accept that this is your Father's choice. Help him where you are able, and be certain then to get on with your own life and understand that these are your parent's choices.

Yes I know but he's a genuine Saint and can't do that because she wants to be home just trying to get some advice to show him thank you

I second Cali. I am curious if there are still addiction problems? If so, who is helping to get and give the medications?

This might not be the popular opinion but......if she’s not going to cooperate & wants to work against your father, he would be well within his right to move her in to a nursing home. She has the right to live this way if that’s what she want but she doesn’t have the right to do it at your fathers expense.