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lsugrad Asked September 2020

Mom is in a nursing home. Should I tell her that her dog has been re-homed?

Mom has been in a NH for 2 years. Family decided I should take care of her 11yr old dog. There was no discussion with me. I’m disabled due to Lyme Disease. I also have several chronic illnesses. It’s a daily struggle. I’m just not able to care for one more pet. I have my own pets. I really tried taking care of her dog. I know how much mom loves her. Owning a pet is a huge responsibility. I asked my 3 siblings & my dad if they could bring her home. All said, “No.” I’ve called my dad in tears asking for help. Parents are divorced. I’ve also talked to mom about re-homing her dog. I’ve been so distraught. Nobody but me has been concerned about the dog’s overall well-being. Her mental, physical, social & emotional needs were not being met. I contacted & researched a reputable breed specific rescue. Mom’s dog is now w the rescue & doing great! ALL of her needs are being met! I’m able to monitor her progress on the rescue’s FB page. Soon, she will be up for adoption. I recently found out my dad is applying for her adoption. He had so many chances to take her home & didn’t. Makes zero sense to me.
Should I tell my mom her dog has been re-homed?

NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2020
Just want to say that you sound loving, caring and responsible! I agree with others. Don’t tell mom if she isn’t asking. If the dog comes up say she is fine.

I do that when I run into people that I haven’t seen in ages and they ask about my crazy family members. I casually say, “Everyone is fine.” Why open doors to unpleasant discussions? No point to that.

Maybe the shelter won’t give her to your dad.

You also sound smart to not communicate with your toxic family.

Best wishes to you, your mom and Trixie!

AlvaDeer Sep 2020
I agree with others. If Mom asks nothing, then tell nothing. If Mom asks either tell Mom that someone else is caring for the dog and the dog is doing just GREAT and loving new home.

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Geaton777 Sep 2020
I agree with others on both issues, telling your mom her dog is fine, and particularly do not let your dad foist that dog back on you again. If he tries to, tell him you're going to report him for animal cruelty, especially if he doesn't return the dog back to the same shelter.

JoAnn29 Sep 2020
Does Mom have Dementia, if so I wouldn't tell her. If she asks, I would tell a little fib that she is doing fine.

I also agree to inform the rescue that ur Dad has been asked to take the dog because of your illnesses and refused. If they are a good rescue, they will check out his home and be able to care for the dog. They may even ask why he didn't take the dog when asked.
lsudvm91 Oct 2020
I informed rescue that my dad had numerous chances to take mom’s dog home. They know what Trixie (mom’s dog) & I have been thru. It isn’t easy to re-home a pet in their senior years. This rescue re-homes dogs of all ages, esp senior dogs.
funkygrandma59 Sep 2020
I wouldn't mention it to your mom. What purpose would that serve, other than to upset her? If she asks how the dog is doing you just tell her that the dog is doing fine(which it is).
lsudvm91 Oct 2020
That’s what I’ll do. I don’t know if my siblings are aware of this situation. I don’t speak to any of them. They are toxic. Dad too. I keep my distance
XenaJada Sep 2020
No.
Also tell the rescue group not to let your dad have the dog. He will probably bring the dog right back to you!
LoopyLoo Sep 2020
Was going to say the same. If he didn't want the dog before, why would he want it now? It's as if he wants to "win" somehow.

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