Mother with moderate dementia lives independently with carers coming in and basics being taken care of. When will this not be enough?

The loneliness and isolation is the worst part of her "independence". I have had the discussion with senior relatives of mine that if they moved to a care community (IL, AL) close to their LOs and caregivers, they'd have more visits, they'd be in a community of like-people with similar interests, there'd be activities and field trips, and people watching out for them. I know this is a mental leap because of what the move "means" (you check in but you don't check out). Understandable. But make the case that if they transition now they will be more in control of decisions, rather than waiting for a disaster where others will make decisions for them. I picked out a few facilities and made my own appointment, taking my own photos to show them (so no glossy fakey brochure with models, just the real deal). They'll see how nice it is. Maybe video an event (sing-along, crafts, social area). Reasoning with her is as much as you can do. I wish you success in helper her see the wisdom in this.

Basically I was lucky. Once my brother, who had been suffering from poor balance for some time, was diagnosed he wanted to move to ALF for safety, and asked me to take over as POA and Trustee for him. He was all about safety and order and knew the long slow slide that was coming. Even worried what about me his younger Sister dying; was his niece my daughter willing to second for me. So I was very very lucky in this.
I think you know that the falls will eventually lead to broken bones, rehab, and etc and perhaps it will have to come to this. Better would be if this could be done now and so my question is "Have you talked to MOM" about moving now, before it has to be done emergently. Would she explore ALF with you with an organization such as A Place for Mom to decide where she might like to move. This is the time for honesty. If she won't, well, it will come soon enough and clearly you are ready for it, with your POA organized. Wishing you the best of luck and do realize that you are right where so many others are.

Thanks mally1 - it's good to know I have company!!

Hi! Someone else will have to answer you, because my mom is almost exactly in the same condition, except VERY forgetful now, and many helpers. You and I both are waiting with bated breath....