Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
E
Elderlycare2020 Asked October 2020

Mom has dementia. How do I answer her questions?

My mother is 73. She has dementia, not severe, but it's there, and is changing her daily behavors. I recently change her from regular underwear to the pull up disposable underwear for women, for about 3 weeks now. Everyday, many times a day, she keeps asking me for her underwear. The reason she has to wear this new disposable underwear is because when she was wearing the regular one, she keep changing it a few times a day. I observed her and found out why she did that: she did not clean herself throughly after each bathroom visit (she has pee stain or even dirty from #2) so she changed and washed the dirty underwears (at least 3 per day). I did tell her that the kind of underwear you're wearing now is good from bath to bath (change it when you take a shower daily - she still goes to the bathroom herself and normal, I now also make sure she is cleaned) so there's no need to change it few times a day.
I do not want to ignore her or give her a cold answer "no, we dont have it!" because it will make her feel ignored. But at the same time what else can I reply to her to make her feel better? I can't explain things to her because she won't get it anymore. I feel so sad for my mom.

AnnReid Oct 2020
“You don’t need your old underwear anymore because you have these nice new ones. I knew you’d love them and they’re so much more comfortable for you than the other ones”.
Elderlycare2020 Oct 2020
Thank You
JoAnn29 Oct 2020
My Mom wore them for slight incontinence she had since her 30s. She wore a pad for years. She was put in pull ups during a rehab stay and loved them. Be glad Mom will wear them. Get rid of her old underwear.
Elderlycare2020 Oct 2020
Yes, I throw away the old underwear; Thank You

ADVERTISEMENT


Isthisrealyreal Oct 2020
If you now help her in the bathroom to ensure that she is clean why can't she wear regular underwear? Or is there incontinence?
Elderlycare2020 Oct 2020
The reason I change her to this disposable underwear because I find out there were days she had leak and wet her underwear and pants, she keep changing and washing those underwear. It's a sign that she need to wear this before she wet her bed.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter