My mom has been developing dementia for a while now, but I don't know how to get the diagnosis from a doctor; her primary care doc offers no support and it's quite difficult to speak to him alone. She gets extremely defensive if I ask anything and refers to it as people trying to say she's crazy. All her doctor tries to do is send her to mental health doctors, (which she won't go to see anyway) not telling me why or letting me know if that's where I start in obtaining a dementia diagnosis. That's my 1st dilemma. The next one is heartbreaking; the other day I was on the phone with her, she's in assisted living, and she started getting upset, telling me she couldn't talk anymore and that when she did, she couldn't say what she was trying to. I didn't know exactly what to say. I told her she needed to keep trying and that I understood her when she talked. Any advice on how to help her? She's becoming delusional as well. I feel like this disease is totally consuming her quickly, and I guess I'm looking for help in how to help her. Any advice? Anyone?
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If I were you, I'd call the facility and ask to speak to someone on her care team, someone who sees her regularly from day to day. Find out from them if they've noticed any difference in her. This should all be recorded in her notes, but in these difficult times you'll have to be forgiving if the records aren't great... :/
Will her doctor speak to you over the phone? Do you have medical power of attorney for your mother?
I can't understand why your mom's primary care doctor is not actively involved in helping your mom but, I would then go to a Neurologist and they can assess her so not only would you know for sure that she actually has dementia but what type she has. Alzheimer's is one of the most common but, Vascular, Lewy Body and Fronto Temporal are also very common. She should also be tested for a UTI (urinary tract infection) as those make a person have strange behaviors - everybody reacting differently.
Communication skills will decrease over time and you say she's been developing dementia for quite awhile now so her cognitive abilities are impaired.
You can also "click" on "care topics" at the upper, right corner on the teal colored bar on this page and go to the letter "D" and there's information under "delusional" and "dementia" that you may want to check out.
Please get her to another doctor as soon as possible!