I never fathomed that I would place either one of my dear parents in a care home. Sadly, my widowed mother's dementia behaviors created a necessary safety move into a care home. It's been a nightmare, to say the least. Placed in one home, she fell twice, sent to hospital and the home wouldn't take her back. She went to a Rehab facility where she was confined for the most part to a chair with an alarm. She was miserable and still fell. She was dismissed from there as well. Accepted in Memory Support wing in yet a third facility and hallelujah! Mom is beginning to like the friends she is making there, as well as the activities they provide...but... She fell 5 times in two weeks. My beautiful mother has bruises, a chipped tooth, cracked eyeglasses, and now 6 stitches in her head. The home is suggesting that one more fall and she can't return. In the course of her recent hospitalization, they did batteries of tests...they found what appears to be a malignancy on her kidney which could be weakening her legs, but staff wouldn't obtain an oncologist while she was there in order to confirm this speculation. Where in the name of Holiness does my mother go? My wonderful husband and I would take her to our home in a heartbeat, but not sure she would be happy without friends (it's just the two of us here!). Perhaps she could come to our home and attend a day group during the day. HELP! We love my Mom wholeheartedly. Never in all my years did I imagine living through an experience like this! My parents provided a beautiful, safe, and memorable childhood for us...I so sincerely want to provide the same for Mom in this season of her life. Suggestions and advice welcomed!!
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Her sensation of losing leg strength comes and goes.
The hospital wouldn't acquire an oncologist while mom was in the hospital, citing
there was "no medical urgency" and it would be appropriate to seek care as an outpatient.
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As to the possible cancer diagnosis, it is not the care facility that follows up for the POA for health care with the help of her MD referrals for oncology testing and possible treatment.
I would speak with administration, assure them that testing will now be done, but I would get it very straight why they do not wish a fall prone Mom to return; it doesn't make sense to me. If it is solely for falls I would discuss, when Mom gets testing and or treatment at hospital with the Social Workers re possible transfer to skilled nursing facility. Hard for me to believe this facility hasn't seen fall prone seniors?
Ask yourself if the Care Home is really hinting.
Did you miss something when the prior hospital staff stopped at not really finding a diagnosis for your Mom? Or, was that 'the diagnosis?
Ask for a second opinion and advice on her care going forward.
She appears to need more intensive care if she has fallen that much and looks that beaten up. Investigate further please.
Something does not seem right. imo.
Something is missing if possible treatments and outcomes will have stopped at:
"found what appears to be a malignancy on her kidney which could be weakening her legs, but staff wouldn't obtain an oncologist while she was there in order to confirm this speculation.".
What is your understanding of why staff stopped there, did not follow up or refer your Mom?
AlvaDeer is right, it is not the Care Home's responsiblity.
It ultimately falls to the medical POA to find and get treatment for her Mom.