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Cynthiawhite Asked October 2020

Can the agent (her mom) ask the nursing home to keep mail and delivered items, that are allowed, from my friend (the principal)?

I’m just suspecting something funny going on. My best friend had an aneurysm and her mother whom she does not really deal with came up and took medical and financial power of attorney and took her three hours away and is allowing no one to speak to her visit her, or even speak to the nursing home when I call about her. I just want my friend to know that we are here for her. I understand she doesn’t need stress and all that, but she also does need her friend's support to get through recovering. When the power of attorney was given, she was very much incapacitated; however, I do know she’s talking she’s in physical therapy she has been off feeding tube’s for quite some time now. There’s more to the story with the reasons why her mom would want the power of attorney financial things, however, I just want to know how can I be there for her since her mother has came and took over but does not even know her.

AlvaDeer Oct 2020
I agree with JoAnn that the mother has in all likelihood taken on emergency guardianship at the request of Medical Social Workers, and now is responsible, yes, for absolutely EVERYTHING, as her daughter (hopefully) recovers. It would be a cruel person indeed who would not share well wishing get well messages. However, as the person to whom ALL MAIL and bills will now go, she will decide what is appropriate to share. So be certain that all cards for now are just basically thinking of you and knowing you will recover, and so on. You should feel free to send your love and best wishes to the Mom as well, as I assure you she is now the Lioness at the Gate, and for the sake of your friend you want to be HER friend and support.
Of course due to privacy laws no information can be given to friends. If there are friends, one should ask the Mom if she can update, and form a phone tree to pass information she wishes you to have.
Good luck.

JoAnn29 Oct 2020
Just thinking here, Guardianship does not happen overnight. Can you get temporary guardianship? The daughter has to be able to say she wants Mom as her POA.

POA is only good if the person cannot make their wishes known so the person assigned makes these decisions keeping in mind what the principle would want. Now if your friend has recuperated enough and can make her own decisions, POA is not needed at that point. Unless, the POA was immediate. If friend is able to now make her own decisions, she can revolk the POA.

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Geaton777 Oct 2020
No one "takes" PoA. It is assigned. Perhaps what happened is there was no PoA assigned since your friend is only 38 and the mom pursued guardianship through the courts so that the county did make all the decisions? Do you have proof of anything else? I'm sorry for your friend's aneurysm but her family, but the best way to be there for her is maybe send her encouraging cards and letters and pictures.

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