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hfry15 Asked October 2020

Not sure how to help with delusions. Any advice?

My grandmother is currently in a SNF for rehab. I have pretty much decided that she will not be able to come back home (based on dr, nursing, therapy, and my own sanity). I have a "care team" meeting Monday to discuss her progress/status and options moving forward.


She has called me 4 times in the last 2 weeks wanting me to call a bank in a town she hasn't lived in in 15+ years to let them know her checks or card (changes every time) have been stolen. Every time we talk I try to tell her I have all of her stuff and its safe, when that doesn't work I tell her I will look into it. I was hoping she would move on, but hasn't. She is on her 4th back to back UTI since August. She has one, takes meds, tests negative then a few days later the cycle starts again. She hasn't snapped out of the confusion with the last 2 like she had with previous instances. Not sure how to handle any of it.

Grandma1954 Oct 2020
You tell her you will look into it.
And repeat that each time she calls.
If you get one of those pieces of junk mail for a credit card company next time open it and take out the heavy cardboard "credit card" they always attach. Save them
Next time she calls and says that her card is missing tell her you have it and you will bring it. Give her the cardboard credit card. If she questions the fact that it is cardboard (not likely) tell her it is a temporary one and they will send the plastic one later.
For her checks. tell her they are on order. Next time you are at the bank grab a hand full of the deposit and or withdrawal slips and give them to her. (funny my bank no longer has deposit slips)

BTW...side note. I would be concerned about a resistant "bug" with the UTI if she is being treated and it keeps retuning they could just be developing a more resistant infection. And it will not stop with the UTI if she gets an infection later it could be much worse due to the resistance.

MargaretMcKen Oct 2020
Check the information on the site. Click on Care Topics on the top right of the screen, then on D for Delusions. There are many articles, old questions and discussions that may help. Try this one
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/hallucinations-delusions-and-paranoia-151513.htm

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polarbear Oct 2020
hfry15 - I had the same problem with my Alz. mother. I used the approach with the least resistance. I just mumbled my agreement, or nodded. If I told her she was wrong, then it would start an argument.

So, it's best to agree and keep your answers short, so that your mother can move on to something else.

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