My mother called from NH early this morning. She said that she will die today. Anyone have a similar experience?

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WorriedCA2020 Asked November 2020

My mother called from NH early this morning. She said that she will die today. Anyone have a similar experience?

My mother has been in a NH for past two weeks...She was in a hospital, for 6 days, before being transferred.

She has a terminal liver cancer...

My mother called me before 7 AM...I told her that I have to get training for caregiving next week at her NH...Then she will go back to her apartment with I as her caregiver...

She sounded upset...Upset that she is not going back to her apartment today...

My mother told me that she is going to die today...She stated that the funeral home people will come and get her at NH...She said that she left a note for the funeral home people...She also stated that it is hard for her to breathe...She is using the oxygen machine at NH...She is also in bed all the day long...

I got upset myself and asked her what she is talking about...She would not answer...The conversation ended...

For the record, she does not know the phone number for the funeral home...It is not on her cell phone...

I guess a very ill person, like my mother, could say some strange things at times...

I have not called the social worker about this yet...I don't know if it is necessary for me to call her about this...

I am very upset about my mother's phone call this morning...

Thanks for reading...

End of Life Skilled Nursing Facility Terminal Illness

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score 3 · Answer 1

I would definitely get in touch with her DON and see if nursing staff has noticed any agitation. Is she on hospice? If not, perhaps its time. Liver ca can metastasize to lungs, brain, bone and other organs. This is so difficult.....will say special prayers for you and your mother. 💖

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score 2 · Answer 2

Please call the nursing home and continue the conversation that you have been having with her social worker.

I realize that you are upset. Your mom is upset too. Discuss the details with the nursing home.

Does the NH believe it would be in your mom’s best interest to be receiving care from their staff instead of home care?

Would you consider having hospice step in? They will provide comfort care for her until the end of her life.

I am so sorry that you are struggling with this. It’s very hard.

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score 11 · Answer 3

Worried, your mom has terminal liver cancer, diagnosed 13 months ago. It seems to me that one of the things that may have happened is that the cancer may have spread to her brain, causing confusion. Also, lack of enough oxygen getting to the brain can cause confusion.

I think you should call the NH and get hold of either the Head Nurse or the social worker and tell them that your mother sounds like she is upset, worried and possibly having delusions.

Is your mother on Hospice at this time? It sounds as though she needs some meds for agitation.

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score 3 · Answer 4

Dear Worried, I can’t remember if you’ve posted about your mother’s behaviour before your current troubles. This does sound like very conscious controlling behaviour. Your mother wants to go home, has no idea what this would mean in practice, and is doing her level best to force you into it. It’s very distressing for you, and of course she is very distressed too, but it still doesn’t mean that you are forced into doing it. Have you managed to talk more to the NH people yet?

I’m so sorry for you, and for her too. If she does die today, it won’t be because you didn’t take her home. Keep your feet on the ground, even though it’s messing with your heart and your head. Love, Margaret

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My mother called from NH early this morning. She said that she will die today. Anyone have a similar experience?

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