New to in-home care and I need help. How can I connect to the resident better?

JoAnn raises a good point on attending a seminar, and the Alzheimers' Assn. has just that.   It's titled Creating Confident Caregivers.  I attended one in my area several years ago.    And it's free.

Your profile doesn't indicate where you are so search on Alzheimers Assn., Creating Confident Caregivers course to see if there are any branches near you.

Apparently the course is still being offered, at least in Michigan.

There was a small group of us, 6 or 8 if I remember correctly.  A textbook and other resources were provided.  We discussed the "lessons" as well as our own interactions, questions, solutions, coping issues, etc.   It was taught by a licensed professional, but I can't remember her field right now.  

One of the aspects was assessing situations, problem solving, and identifying alternate solutions.  

Our group met at a conveniently located Jewish Welfare Federation, where fresh coffee and pastries awaited us each time we met.

It's well worth the time; I wish I'd taken the course twice.  I still have all my notes and text though.

I am with Alva here. You will learn as you get experience. What I suggest is find someplace that is offering a ALZ/Dementia Seminar. Where i live one of the ALs offers it. Maybe a technical school that trains CNAs.

There are different Dementias with different type of symptoms but some basic ones too. The brain is dying. Short term, not being able to reason or process what is being said. Because of short term memory loss they cannot learn something new. Not much you can do with the mental. There are meds that may help with cognitive ability but after a while they don't work. Physically he can get a doctor's order and have some in home OT/PT to help strengthen her.

Another suggestion is don't ask "Mrs. S would you like to take a bath" Because you will probably get a no. You can nicely say "Time for a bath to make you feel fresh and clean". They are like small children and when asked to do something will say No.

Another thought:  post facility rebound.   For months she had to follow someone else's schedule, in a place that wasn't her home.  She had to adapt to a lot of changes.   She may still be in a rebound from that drastic change, just wanting to relax in the comfort of her own home until she feels up to structuring her own life again.

You seem to be a insightful, dedicated and caring individual; I think over time you'll begin to see changes, and how you can relate to her.  And best wishes for that time!

Hello everyone,

I want to thank everyone for their responses. It feel very nice knowing there is support from more exercised caregivers out there. I really like the idea of using music to connect with her. In my training we learned just how powerful music can be, especially with patients who have memory problems.

As far as my client she is in her late 70s to 80s and have very early stages of possible dementia but I don't think she has been diagnosed. She mainly suffers with short term memory loss. She was put into a nursing home by her son and then contracted covid and was in a unit for several months.

I believe her son understands that she is weaker and can't do much but wants to see her improve in her physical and mental health. I have tried to interact with her using games, cooking, doing puzzles and reading magazines. She has not expressed any interest in these activities and usually just wants to sit watching TV. I am also having a hard time getting her to take a bath or even change out of her pajamas.

I thin that this might improve as we get to know each other but Im worried she will never trust me enough to let me help her with ADL's. Thanks again to everyone for their responses.

Good answers from all. I'm partial to a music option.  If she's unwilling or unable to let you know what kind of music she likes, ask her son to select some CDs that she's enjoyed.   

A music session could follow something you've done for her, something to make her comfortable and relaxed, but not necessarily something physical like bathing.   Let the music relax her and see if the two of you are able to interact after the in-home concert.

If her son's willing, he could buy flowers, secretly give them to you and let you present them to her.    Even picks of artificial flowers can be soothing, and no one has to worry about watering them.   Hopefully she'd then think kindly of you when she sees the flowers.

I think it's also important to remember that you're someone new in her life, and perhaps in her opinion she may feel you're intruding on her privacy (as would any care person), and may need time to get used to you.

Something my mom did at first when I hired in home care was to ignore them. Then she would complain to me about their personalities. They were too bubbly or chatty. She liked quiet, but wouldn't tell them that. She is actually still the same at Assisted Living now. I like the chatty care givers, but they confuse her. She likes me because I'm quiet. I guess it just takes getting to know her better and watching carefully what she responds to. It might be that any activity that is complicated will not interest her because she can't follow. Another thing my mom likes is to hear about other people's lives because she can't remember much of her own any longer. Stories about you might be welcome. Music? Anything calming.

This old retired RN started her career as a CNA. I would recommend that you start your own career now in a LTC facility or in a hospital where you will learn how to work with different patients by giving care with others, and learning at the bedside. It sounds as though you are dealing with a son in denial and a mother who may need hospice a good deal more than she needs being dragged out of bed to participate in things she cannot.
With time you will learn to speak with families, to help them understand that their LO is now very tired, and while they cannot understand, some day they will. You will be able to teach them how to accept. But as a new CNA this is a lot to take on. It's my fear it could burn you out, because graduating from any level of education on care to the level of GIVING care is the time when you run into a wall of reality that can be depressing. We all get by that wall if we keep climbing. But to start with a son in denial is asking a lot.
Just my opinion. You will now have assessed what Mom is capable of doing and what she wishes to do. You some day will be strong enough to be able to explaining gently but firmly that your duty is to the loved one. To keep them clean, comfortable, exercised whether active or passive, fed, entertained, and to the family understand their loved one's illness.
You will know if this is not going well. If not, then you may need to sit with the son and tell him that you feel that you are not the right one to help him with the care of his Mom. That his requirements of his mom are not some that in your opinion she can rise to. That certain things cannot be fixed. And that perhaps he should seek replacement.
You will, in this situation come to know what is right. Remember, you are the patient's advocate, no matter WHO HIRED YOU.
Good luck and joy. If this position doesn't work out just remember, you are on a journey. You will become stronger at each step.

At what stage is her Alzheimer's? That makes a difference in her ability to engage and do things.

My mother is at the late stage of Alzheimer's. She enjoys going out, car rides, arranging flowers, watching funny shows, listening to music. She can still hang her clothes, fold towels, match up socks, sweep the floor. The last one is questionable though. Haha. I have to re-sweep the floor after she does.

What is your senior capable of doing? And what does she enjoys doing? Her son might be able to tell you if she doesn't want to tell you. Once you know, you can invite her to do those activities together while telling her about yourself and your family, then ask her about herself and her family.

I just read your profile. Your resident has serious health issues, Alzheimer’s disease, depression and a stroke.

Does her son think that you are a miracle worker? Just do what you have been trained to do. You have tried to get her to engage in activities. What has been her response? How old is she?

I feel for you because of your resident’s son. He seems to be applying unnecessary pressure. Tell us more about her son.

If you know that you are doing a satisfactory job, be confident that you are doing all that you can possibly do.

Others will chime in with their feedback.

Best wishes to you and thank you for caring for our elderly.