Caring for 95 y/o mom and exhausted. What should I do?

This will be long. Last year mom had partial hip replacement, has COPD, bad back. She rehabbed at my home but ultimately went back home. Thought she might want to move to senior living (no help included). She really pushed around July b/c she thought neighbor guy was stalking around her house at night setting off fireworks (we saw no debris). She was fighting with his mom and doesn’t speak to them now. Fast forward she decided not to go to senior bldg....now we have cameras outside so she will feel better; now she says he won’t be there b/c he knows she has cameras. I should also say I can’t ask my mother why about anything, she doesn’t eat right, won’t take our advice, is very ungrateful. I’m an only child and my husband and I have been helping my mom since I got married either financially, house stuff, medical stuff and everything else too. Dad gone now 25 yrs. when dad was sick, husband had to help cut grass, etc b/c their finances were messed up. I am furloughed right now but last year was the tipping point; I started not feeling well & still investigating things (maybe adrenal fatigue-too much stress). Daughter had baby right in the middle of mom’s hip issue) so I was working, visiting her in the rehab and checking in on my daughter too. Now we are grandparents to 5 little ones under 3 (son & wife had twins in June, another stressor) so we get asked to help out on occasion (which is fun but there’s always mom and her needs). I’m exhausted & the fighting my mom does with me & husband is a contributing factor. I mean there is a long list of things we told her she shouldn’t do and in the end she hurt herself which in turn took time from life to deal with it. Right after my daughter got married (2 days later) she asks me if I’m having an affair. When I ask where she came up with that, I get oh don’t worry people know they talk....WTH...I’ve been married for 37 years... that whole story blew up & we didn’t talk for almost 3months. I can check her camera outside now so a friend came over and they were sitting on her porch after being in the house for a few minutes...she starts talking to friend about me & my husband. I was hurt, husband angry. We get calls if the sound goes out on TV b/c she pressed wrong button, calls at 9:45 pm last night b/c she wanted to see cameras outside but couldn’t get it to work. She didn’t apologize for talking about us and never does. Won’t get meals on wheels which then puts burden on me to “make sure” she’s eating right. I arranged for comfort keeper to help me out but instead all my mother wants her to do is take her out to eat, not help around the house like I wanted. We pay her bills, make dr appts, take her to dr appts, to get her hair done, take her food, shop for groceries, do her laundry, etc pretty much everything. She won’t give us POA & refuses to even think about assisted living. In the last 14 yrs I can’t even tell you how many times she’s been in the hospital and rehab b/c she was falling & not being careful. What should I do? This situation is making me sick. I’m seeing a doctor on Monday re: adrenals. She wants to say oh you’re just stressed out...agreed but it’s because of her. I’m stuck being an only child what options do I have? Any advice? Sorry this is so long Please no judgement this has been exhausting and going on my entire life. I remember her fighting with her sisters, my uncle told her to get out of his house and my dear dad said she was going to kill him first and said she thought she was miss America! Now I think she is going to kill me but she blames everything on everyone else.