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Superman56 Asked November 2020

I'm looking for some basic advice on where to start and what to do for my mother (82) that has dementia, and is losing her mind quickly.

My mom is in assisted living and called me tonight stating she has a fruit punch baby she dosed know what to do with, then follows that statement by telling me there's all sorts of babies running around and she doesn't know what to do. I'm afraid I'm losing her completely and I dont know what to do. I had her an appointment to see a geriatric doctor but she fell this past Wed. and was taken to the ER, so I wasn't able to keep her appointment, and I don't know what to do, I'm scared she's going to forget who I am (her daughter), anyone out there have a similar situation you've dealt with like mine? She just started acting delusional in the past couple of weeks, and its all about babies and small children, like she's been looking for my grandson for the past week, also thinking he was there with her, but kept hiding. Any advice or insight I could getwould be wonderful and if something happens to her, luckily she doesnt have much to deal with financially or personally but a storage full of house things. But I dont have her will if she even has one, nor am I power of attorney. (I tried to get her to get these things taken care of but she kept putting it off) those things aren't my real focus but I suppose I'll have to deal with them. My concern right know is how to help her in what's going on with her mind...anybody?

Beatty Nov 2020
Any update Superman? Is your Mother still in the hospital? It must be a scary time for you.

Trust your gut instinct. If Mother is not right, keep asking the medical team questions. I know not all questions will have answers... but strength to you to support your Mother & stand up for her needs at this time.

lealonnie1 Nov 2020
So she was taken to the ER on Wednesday and you wrote this question on Friday, right? I would think the hospital tested her for various things while she was there.........but she could have a UTI like the others have suggested. She can also be seriously confused from being in the ER, esp if she was there for many hours or overnight. It's known as 'hospital delirium' and gets much worse with a patient who suffers from dementia. I saw it in my own mother BIG TIME last she was in the hospital. Was she given NEW medications while in the ER? That's always the first thing to blame when odd behaviors crop up with the elderly: new medications.

In any event, living in an ALF, she should have access to a nurse and visiting doctors who come into the facility, right? Call the nurse at the ALF and tell her what you've told us; have her look in on your mom and see what she thinks is happening. Schedule a visit with the visiting doctor, if possible, or take the nurse's advice about what to do next. In my mother's ALF, they can test her right away for a UTI by having her urinate in a hat. It's sent right out for testing and voila, we have an answer pretty quickly.

Wishing you the best of luck finding an answer to what's going on with your mom. Sending you a hug and a prayer, too

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Geaton777 Nov 2020
ZippyZee is correct: check her for a UTI first. In the elderly it can come on suddenly with no other symptoms except confusion and personality changes. It can be cleared up with antibiotics. Are you local to her? Someone will need to make sure she is taking her meds. Be warned that she can keep having them from this point on.

medicaidmaze20 Nov 2020
see if the community has visiting physicians or if the dr. will do a video visit-your mom needs to be evaluated by Neurologist. Ask for copy of her chart if the community is keeping one-about her meds, behavior, etc. Ask for the community visiting doctor for recommendations how get help.

My sister has delusions-visual-are real to her. I don't get too worked up about what she says I try to be calming to sis. It is not worth it to tell her her mind is not working correctly-although she knows at some level things are not right.

She was a teacher and keeps talking about the "kids". sis was also having memory probllems-could not manage her bills etc. Thankfully we got POA in place before things got any worse a few years back. She was having more trouble managing her meds, and driving. impossible for me to solve this long distance. She lives in my state now and in LTC. I am not an expert and don't want to say your mom has this or that-that which is why you need to seek professional help for your mom.

ZippyZee Nov 2020
Could be anything from dementia to a UTI. Get her to a doctor.

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