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Jennytn5 Asked November 2020

Mom (90) lives in a reduced income apartment in the town she has lived in all her life. We sold her home. What do we do next?

We sold her home, with her involvement about 4 years ago. She has heart problems. A pacemaker and has had a ‘silent heart attack’. There are 6 siblings. We share her care, financially and other wise. Recently, she is becoming agitated and obsessive over small things. She is already on an anti depressant at a fairly high dose. She doesn’t like to drink water or keep her fluids in good shape. I guess I would say it’s just slow decline. Mom insists on being totally independent financially although she knows she isn’t. She worries over money we kids spend on food and basic household items. Her doctor told her recently she must walk everyday to continue to live on her own and as her ankles were swollen and she is often ‘light headed’. So I guess I don’t know what to do next.

JoAnn29 Nov 2020
Try to keep caring for her one more year. Medicaid look Back is 5 years. You needed to sell that house at Market Value and prove the proceeds were used for her personally if u try to apply before the five years. After the 5 year mark (someone posted 5 yrs plus a month) this won't need to be done.

What are you looking for? Does she need help with everyday living? Is there some mental decline.

Daughterof1930 Nov 2020
Very often there is nothing you can do. It’s frustrating to want to make things better and find there are just increasing problems and fewer solutions. Don’t get involved in conversations over things like money that you know will cause her worry and upset, keep topics light and positive. Understand that there is going to be some mental decline that will be ongoing. Encourage her to walk and be active but also understand that at her age and with her issues she will often just be too tired to feel up to it. Above all, just enjoy the time, hold her hand and let her know you care

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