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Ann1963 Asked November 2020

How do I help my parent become secure in knowing that I am giving her her meds?

Starting 2 wks ago, always at night, parent accuses me of not giving her pills. It ends up in an argument, me yelling (because she's hard of hearing) trying to tell her I DID give them to her, and her going off on a tangent about how ungrateful I am, that she will disinherit me, etc. etc. etc.
She has not been diagnosed as having Alzheimer's, but was diagnosed with Sundowners post stroke 3 years ago, which is a rare occurrence.
This issue is causing arguments and tension.
Any pointers on how to deal with this would be greatly appreciated!

Beatty Nov 2020
The effects of stroke vary significantly between people. Some make full or partial recoveries while others do not. Some develop Vascular Dementia (differs to Alz).

Dementia definition:

a chronic or persistent disorder of the mental processes caused by brain disease or injury and marked by memory disorders, personality changes, and impaired reasoning.

This sundowning behaviour you reported: lack of medicine trust is common. Sounds like short term memory problems.

A medication
chart she can initial herself was a great idea by Squee!

If nothing works, maybe talk to her Doctor. Medication for anxiety may be something to consider?

squee2000 Nov 2020
Ann, I have a suggestion -
Documentation! But seriously, document every time you give your mom her meds. Write down the exact times, pills, dosages, etc. Use a daily planner or notebook. With my mom, we used an oversized dry-erase wall board that I partitioned off like a calendar. And, I hung an oversized wall clock next to it.

After she takes her pills, have her sign off - write her name or initials - to acknowledge that she took them.

It helps if she is able to understand what pills she takes and when she takes them. I went over my mom's meds with her every time she was given anything. Eventually it stuck.

This worked out well for us. Plus, mom felt she had some input and control over her own care - this helped to reduce her anxiety.

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NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2020
I am not familiar with the ALZ but I am with the hard of hearing and the yelling is so very exhausting! I feel your pain.

Stick around for answers.

Best wishes to you.

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