Hello. I see lots on here about parents not recognizing parents, how about spouses?

Hello thank you all so much. Going along with “the story” definitely helped last night.

hurdle now is how to handle at 1:00am when he asks me to drive him home bc he thinks he is just visiting me. Told him it was ok to stay with me, everyone is ok with us being together, I’ll help do anything he needs to get done “at home.”

any other suggestions?

We know one of the symptoms of dementia is that it takes away short term memory and replaces it with memories of the past. He no longer recognizes you as you are today. His perception of the present may be 30 yrs ago. So he may see you as a previous girlfriend or even as you in your dating years but he can't make the connection. Redirection may help to change the subject but it won't help him in seeing you as his wife. It's OK to state your name Monica, but he may think he's meeting you for the first time. I know it's heartbreaking for you. Unfortunately, there's no correcting this. You pretty much have to accept the mistaken identity. Although the wedding album didn't help, there's no harm in reminiscing.

Yes, this happens and spouses both male and female mention it on Forum. There are many who go into care and there feel they have a new spouse, and the visiting spouse is introduced as "My friend" or "Someone who visits me". This isn't uncommon and in fact my Aunt's best friend had the experience of her husband believing another woman in his facility in Missouri was his wife; they were quite in love and would sit holding hands. The wife adjusted to knowing that really, the man she loved was gone now, though his housing was still there; she remained devoted and visited perhaps a bit less, making her own life in the Senior community. It is so sad to lose those we love and have them still there at the same time.

Just go with it. No sense in trying to convince someone with dementia that what they "know" is not true.
If he is worried that "his wife will find out" just tell him that "we will work it out and not to worry". Or tell him that she knows. Whatever response you think will be better.
The only time that you should be worried is if he gets violent with trying to fit his "reality" with the truth. If that happens leave the room if he is safe and give him time or if you need to call 911 do so and explain the situation. If there are any weapons in the house remove them ASAP!