My husband and I had been married 10 years and occasionally split for awhile and got back together. What are my rights to his estate?

If your husband made a will, his executor must follow it.

If he didn't, you should look up your state's laws on intestacy. Most states seem to provide good basic information online about what their rules are for dividing estates when a person has not made a will. As far as I understand it (not very far) a wife usually gets the lion's share.

But as you describe yourself as an on-off wife of ten years and stepmother to (presumably) adult children, you surely can't be surprised that his children aren't thrilled about that. Is their mother still alive?

your eligible for whatever you and your husband had together or his. it doesn't matter if you were separated as long as you were not divorced. hands down your married and that's what counted. you will get everything unless he had a will and did not tell you and signed there names. get yourself a lawyer or a pro bono one if you do not have the money. If i were you i would share regardless.

I know someone that left nothing to his children because they had been estranged for years.

He was in contact with his grandchild. It was the granddaughter that inherited everything. He was a widower.

Had he been married his wife would receive an inheritance due to our community property laws.

We don’t have forced heirship so parents do not have to leave a single dime to their kids if they don’t want to.

There are references to a will, and/or no will in the answers, but you haven't clarified that yet, so that's the first step.   If he didn't create a will, you and any descendants will be governed by the intestate laws of the state in which he legally resided.   There's no information in your profile on residency, so you'll have to do that research yourself to find out what the order of inheritance is if someone dies intestate.

You mention that you split "again", so I'm thinking this isn't the first separation.   Had either of you filed for divorce?  If so, that could change the situation.

Where did he reside?  And you?  Your legal residence?    Was title to the house held jointly?   You'll need to get a copy of the recorded deed if you're not sure.

As others have advised, you need to consult an attorney as there are some ambiguities that first need to be addressed to determine your standing and inheritance.

So sorry for the loss of your husband.

It was kind of you to take care of him before his death. Did his children help you during his time of need? Relationships can become so complicated.

You don’t mention how long you were separated from your husband.

Overall were you with him more than you were separated from him? If there is a will, hopefully you will be remembered.

He didn’t turn you away towards the end of his life but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

There have been cases where the wife was the caregiver until the end and her husband left everything to his children.

Don’t speak to your stepchildren if they are upsetting you. Take this time to grieve and mourn your loss.

Did you discuss a will at anytime during your marriage? A will determines a person’s last wishes and how they desire for them to be carried out.

Depending on where you live, state laws determines what happens.

For instance, I live in a community property state so I am legally entitled to half of everything my husband and I own together.

Prenups can protect property that was purchased before the marriage.

Be prepared for his stepchildren to contest the will. State laws vary, again in my state, we do not have ‘forced heirship’ laws. Children do not automatically inherit their parent’s property.

If you don’t have a lawyer, it’s time to get one.

I don’t know what your relationship was with your stepchildren and that is neither here nor there. It’s about what your husband desired. It is a shame that there isn’t harmony in the family during this sorrowful time.

I am very sorry that you weren’t able to reconcile fully with your husband.

Even if a loved one is sick it seems that we are never totally prepared for their death.

Again, I am very sorry for your loss.

Best wishes.

If there is a Will and your in it, not much they can do since your still married. If no will, then someone needs to become an Administrator and follow the same guidelines as an Executor. Only difference, the State determines who inherits and how much they inherit. In my State the wife gets 75%, the children 25% and that gets split between the number of children there are.

Seems when there are stepchildren, they feel they override the stepmother when it comes to the fathers estate. But doesn't work that way. If Dad wants his kids from a previous marriage to get his estate than he needs to have a Will. Or even better, a prenup to protect his kids.

I agree, you need a lawyer. Like Grandma said, if he named you as survivor on his pension, ur entitled to that and your SS should be adjusted to reflect at least 50% of what he was receiving. Insurance policies, if your beneficiary you get the money.

IMO you actually hold the reins here if ur still legally his wife. If it goes against you though, I would make sure I presented a bill for the time you cared for him and the kids allowed you to do it. At $10 an hour, 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week x 3 weeks is over 5k. And I am being conservative. An agency would have cost at least double that or more.

Lawyer time.

I am sorry for your loss, and sorry for stepkids who, face it, they are probably grieving, angry and upset. Do everything LEGALLY and the way he wanted.

Sounds like the kids don't know what dad wanted--where is his will? Do you know who his attorney was? It would be best of you saw the actual person who did his legal stuff. They'll be aware of what's in the will and have the best understanding. It will save you time and money if you can find the attorney who drew up the will.

Good Luck. I hope this can be resolved with a minimum of stress for all.

It is a shame he apparently did not make out a will before his death, since he knew he had a heart condition. I am surprised he didn't direct his estate. Since you were recently separated he may have told the children they would get everything. There are laws in states about how much goes to children and how much to the spouse. Despite not living together, without legal separation filings, you were fully his spouse; you were not divorced. There is no change to your rights to the estate just because you were not living together, no matter how long or often that was for. His will would have dictated how his estate should have been divided, and that would have relieved the children.
You may also have some rights where pensions are concerned, retirement funds and etc.
It is good you were together at the end, and I am certain that resolution was a relief at that time for him, thought I understand the children's confusion.
I am sorry for this loss for all of you.
Others are correct, also. In any question involving laws, do check with a Lawyer. It is expensive, yes, but often you are only asking for an hour of their knowledge and advice.
Good luck.

You helped him for 3 weeks before he died?

Of course his family is going to fight you. They only have your word about future intentions and the history of an on again off again relationship.

They just lost their dad and you are worried about getting money. I would fight you to, to be honest. His will should clarify his wishes for his estate and you should honor whatever he wanted.

If all else fails present the estate with a bill for services rendered!
And, make sure you charge for All your time and expenses.

In your situation it would be well worth the investment of a 1 or 2 hr consultation with an estate law attorney. We on this forum can't adequately give you advice that you will be banking on. Hire an actual knowledgeable professional who will know all the gory details of your situation for your state. Good luck!

If you were not divorced you legally are still his wife.
It might be a good idea to either consult an Elder Care Attorney or a Family Law Attorney.
If neither of you had remarried after divorce you should also be eligible for Social Security and if he had a Pension you would most likely be eligible for Survivor Benefits as well

Did he leave a will?  Has anyone filed for probate?  Were you still legally married?  Was the property in his name, or in trust for kids.  If you were still married, you are entitled to at least 1/3 of his estate, absent a prenup.   If you were legally separated, you may need to consult an attorney.