It might seem self explanatory, but how does it actually work? My mom's doctor recently said that she can either have in-home round-the-clock" care or go to a facility. Does this mean someone actually living in the house? Or they just stay overnight? What kind of degrees are there to this? I guess there probably are a lot of different levels to this depending on her condition and finances, but basically it's because of dementia and a lack of self-care, and my dad who's also 90 and got his own issues doesn't know what to do. The idea of someone living in their house seems kind of like a fantasy to me, that they won't really put up with it or know how to handle it. She has already said she "doesn't want a girl" because she's worried my dad will "mess around" with them (which is ridiculous, FYI).
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My MIL currently has 2 caregivers that take turns caring for her. One cares for my MIL during the day and the other cares for her at night. They are awake while they are on duty. They do whatever she needs - which is everything - since she lives alone in her condo in Hawaii (her choice long ago) while the rest of the family lives on the mainland.
Mom is at a stage in her dementia that is quite common - thinking hubby will have an affair. Sometimes it's because of a very old memory of when dad did mess around and got caught or mom was always the jealous type and accused him quite often. Even if they both go to a facility, this accusation can transfer to one of the staff who mom sees talking to or laughing with hubby.
It's very possible your parents aren't going to agree to in home care. If they understand at all, explain what the dr said and tell them you have no choice. Something has been recognized by this doctor as unsafe living conditions for your parents. Hire the 24 hr care or place them before something happens
But, wow, it is expensive! We paid $28/hr for 2 12hr shifts a day. PLUS her regular Memory Care rent and fees.
We just recently went to night only after 3 weeks of 24 /7.
A sitter is fine if it is as simple as needing someone awake and present. If there is more involved in this care, adminstration of medications, dressings, oxygen, and etc. more care may be needed.
Some doctors feel the spouse, your father, is enough; others feel that with a sleeping spouse an elder still could wander. It is up to you to clarify the meaning in your Mom's own case.
Whether you are looking at just a CNA or a sitter, the cost of this care 24 hours a day will be amazingly high, well over the cost of a good LTC assisted living, and equal almost certainly to memory care.
Wishing you good luck.