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Panderson Asked December 2020

My niece is having a difficult time with my older brother. Any suggestions?

My niece has six boys to raise and I consider my older brother and her dad a seventh child. He refuses to give her any copies of arrangements he has made for his ultimate death. Everything is locked away somewhere and my niece has no access. He has lost the key to his safety deposit box, keeps his dead wife on his bank account. I could go on and on. I tell my niece this is unfair and she needs to be firm. This man could drop dead tomorrow and my niece would have no idea what to do. He says he has a trust, but where it is nobody knows. My brother is not stupid, he’s a doctor. Very thoughtless. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Midkid58 Dec 2020
My MIL has a will and all that, and DH is her executor and now POA, but he has no idea in the world where she has stashed everything.

She thinks that "I" will somehow get into her financials and rob her prior to her death.

Every time Dh goes to see her, if he has to use the house key she hides in the garage, she goes out and re-hides it, b/c she is so afraid that I will come to her house and break in.

DH has quit trying to figure it out. I imagine if she ever dies, he'll deal with it.

She's not super smart, but she sure is eccentric.

JoAnn29 Dec 2020
I guess she has asked what will she do if he passes. What she needs to do is explain to him what will happen if he dies and she is not able to find his papers. No Will, then the state takes over. An Administer will be assigned to his estate (can be ur niece) and when they have done what is needed, the State will determine where his money goes. If he doesn't have a POA, again the State may take over his care.

Maybe as a sibling you could ask him why. The whole purpose of having your ducks in a row is to make things easier for the people left behind. His wishes can't be carried out if no one has access to them.

The most intelligent people are also the most eccentric I have found. Some have no commonsense.

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gladimhere Dec 2020
Sounds like doctor bro has setup what he wants and has designated someone other than your niece to tend to his affairs. It really is none of niece's business until dad wants to tell her.

ExhaustedPiper Dec 2020
Why does your niece need this info, is your brother ill? Does he need care?

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