How do I find help so that I can have a break?

Yep. You need respite care for yourself. Make sure your dads finances and medical things are in order first. Like make sure you have DPOA. If your dad is on hospice they should automatically offer you a social worker and the social worker is suppose to offer it to you.

If not then look up places that offer respite care. But I'm sure its out there. My dad has Alz. End stage. My sister & i have been caring for him since my Mom passed. It's been 8 years coming up. And my dad is on Hospice but at home. We all live together.
We were always told to take breaks. At least 1 a month. Treat yourself to something. We didn't listen because they come to your house OR you have to have your loved one go there and it cant be less than 7 days. But they pay for it. But we didn't and still dont trust anybody.

One thing I can say is take the breaks you need. Take them. You need a self break for your mental state. You cant care for your dad if you are not well.
I thank God Almighty I have my sister. Sometimes it's still over bearing.
Take care of yourself!!

Wow. So your mother pretty much said "Here's dad, I'm outta here. Bye!'. I'd be furious! That was beyond wrong and selfish of her. She no longer cares about your father, and evidently doesn't care about you either.

You have a lot more to think about than just getting respite care. This will be a permanent thing for you long after you can get some help. Start planning on the future. Things like:

How is his money situation? Can he afford aides or go to Assisted Living later on? What about the basic things like food and meds? Unless you're insanely wealthy, you cannot support yourself AND him for years without draining your savings. And don't even think about quitting your job!

If Mom expects you to foot the bill for it all, then you may have to take some legal action. I'm no legal expert but maybe you can get POA and guardianship if you don't already. Your mother really has no say; she's up and left. When you tell her you're worn out, what does she say? Were it me, I'd tell her to just divorce him since she pretty much already has.

Hello! I am in the same position! I've been taking care of my dad since June 24/7. I am the only one that he will let help get dressed and bathed. We have a pretty good routine going. He was recently denied VA assistance but it's ok, we are still financially ok. Only I have a great husband and family. I can run and do errands, but I can not leave overnight. Not there is anyplace to go right now. I've been trying to get in touch with our area of aging. However, it's been playing phone tag all the time. I am hoping that by the time the dust settles down with the pandemic, I will have good leads from the area of aging. One thing I can suggest to possibly help is if you can get out of the house, even for an hour, take a picnic lunch - go find a spot where you can sit in your car and blast some music and have a car picnic. Better yet, if you can set a date each week to do something like this, it helps with setting a goal for something to look forward to. I hope you can find some help soon!

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Respite is what you are looking for.
Contact your Area Agency of Aging and discover what services they offer for someone with your dads situation.
If he qualifies for hospice, they will cover respite in an assisted living or NH they have a contract with.
Not sure what the status is with your parents but you might want to seek advise from a certified Elder Attorney to protect your fathers finances and ability to enter a NH if it becomes necessary.
Not trying to borrow trouble but you need to know where he is vulnerable and how to protect him and yourself.

here is the link to your AAA. They might have a list of respite locative to check out.

http://www.alamedasocialservices.org/public/index.cfm