Stuck in a loop. Any ideas?

daddysfavorite, I think it would best to just let your Mom talk about those things since that is what is currently in her brain loop.

Is she talking about wanting to drive? Just make up a "therapeutic fib" that you feel she will accept... such as her car is in the shop and will be ready next week. Since Mom has dementia chances are she will forget you said that.

You don't need to change the subject. Go along with it as freqflyer suggests. From your profile your doing a great job. The next thing is to become familiar with how to interact with your mom. "Learning to Speak Alzheimer's" is an excellent book that can help you do just that. Your library may have a copy or order it from Amazon.

With my dad I would turn the tables a little on him. After answering the same question a dozen times I’d ask him about his grandad. What was that road he lived on etc. Dad still had lots of long term memories and he’d launch into stories about the olden days. Then ask his same question again or maybe a new one. This is just the way it goes with dementia.

As others have said - let her vent her worries once, maybe twice - then redirect - most elders with dementia will follow your lead. Perhaps turn her concerns about her car/driving into a convo about some of the places she has gone in that car.... or offer her a cup of tea as someone suggested. Understand that she is stuck in a loop that is making her anxious, and she doesn't want to feel that way - she needs/wants your help to get out of that anxious place. It's not about the car/insurance/driving, it's about how she FEELS in the moment.

why change the subject?
Ask what her concerns are.
"I need my license". Your response. They are closed today we can go another day.
"I need my car" Your response. It is in the shop having repairs done, it will be a while before it is done.
"I can't find my key" Your response. Well let's look for it, then after a minute say lets sit down for a cup of tea and a bit of a snack.(or you could actually "find" some miscellaneous key)
"I am worried about the pipes freezing" Your response. It is not cold enough to have the pipes freeze.
The important thing is to acknowledge her concern and give a response that will alleviate any fears or anxiety that she might have.

When she gets stuck in a predictable question loop, maybe write down her questions and then your (simplied or "fib-ified") answers on a piece of paper and point to them for her to read.

"Is my van still at my house?"
No, you sold it because you decided you didn't want to drive anymore .

I know it is exhausting to keep responding but you don't have to. You can also walk out of the room or put on headphones or run the noisy vacuum cleaner. Or just shrug your shoulders to each question without making eye contact. This is what I've done because I find pointless conversation very draining. She's going to keep asking anyway so do what exhausts you the least but still keeps her in a calm state. Blessings to you!

Yes, it requires a great deal of patience to deal with an elder with dementia. The constant repetitive questions are enough to drive you batty. With my mother, I'll answer most of her questions the first time during each visit. However, I can often distract her by quickly interjecting another subject before she goes into that repetitive loop of asking the same question over and over again during a visit. Sometimes this works but, it's never easy because it's not a totally normal conversation.

My sister used to say it's like they take a record down off the shelf and begin playing it over and over with the needle stuck. This happens in their brains, where thoughts get stuck and get repeated umpteenth times. Usually with my dad I could just ignore the first question and change the subject thereby getting his "needle out of the groove". Da** dementia! So frustrating for the caregivers when this happens.

This is not unusual for people with dementia. They keep playing the same loop over and over, and then they may switch to a different loop. You could try asking her if she'd like to take a walk or sit outside (in good weather), or if she'd like something to drink, etc. It depends on what state her mind is in and how much she can have a conversation. With my mother, who now isn't communicative, I just tell her things that are happening with me and the family. I try to keep the conversation upbeat.

When my mom was in rehab at a nursing home there was a woman that was convinced that she was 32 years old! She was a permanent resident at the home.

She wondered around in her wheelchair all day and night. She would constantly argue with the other residents and the staff.

I would see her everyday. She was always by the front door looking out of the windows.

She would hail me down and beg me to bring her to the parking lot to find her car.

One woman nearby who wasn’t fond of her told me to ignore her.

She said that she asked all the visitors to help her find her car.

She would say that she had to get home to her son.

She thought she had a young child at home. It was sad to hear her tell me this.

Talk about stuck in a loop!

One day I did ask her to tell me about her son. It was fascinating. She told me his name.

Out of curiosity I looked up his name on my phone. He lived nearby.

I asked another resident about him. She told me that her son came to visit her once in awhile but this woman only remembered him as a young boy.

She doesn’t know him as an adult. It was heartbreaking to hear about her life.