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Keeper21 Asked December 2020

Mom has been living in AL for 4 months. Since the transition, her dementia and hearing loss care has increased. Is she playing tricks on us?

Living with dementia and hearing loss in a new environment has not gone smoothly. For example, Mom hides her glasses and hearing aides which stops our weekly 45 min visits because she can't carry on a two way conversation. I've arranged to have her devices protected for safe keeping at night. I had a visit with her today but it ended with us arguing because she wasn't wearing her glasses or her hearing aids. I requested help from the AL staff which was granted but no hearing aids could be found during a quick surface check in her apartment. I requested the staff continue to research the source of the problem before I abruptly has to cut the visit short. On my way home the front desk called to say Mom had the hearing aids all the time in her walker zipper bag. Mom has no idea how they got there but she handed them over to staff. Is she playing tricks on us all or what?

AlvaDeer Dec 2020
Given we cannot KNOW when it is the failure of the mind and when it is a few tricks used to get what is wanted, I always error on the side of believing the person innocent. So I would assume Mom wasn't aware where the hearing aid was. It's kind of like one moment I cannot remember the name of a certain plant, and later I am vacuuming and "diffenbachia" bounces into my head out of the blue (my true story from yesterday). I am 78. Sorry, the aging mind IS different! Ask one who has one!

Keeper21 Dec 2020
The staff is very sensitive to the needs of the residents. However, the ratio of care is not sufficient. Even though the community is COVID free the ratio of care is 1: 5. How would you judge that ratio on a 1 to 10 satisfaction? I now see its not enough care in AL. There's no space available in MC to date.

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sjplegacy Dec 2020
No tricks. It's dementia! She doesn't hide her glasses and aids, she places them down somewhere and immediately doesn't remember where. Does the staff make sure she's wearing them both? Don't count on her to remember.

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