Am I unreasonable for not wanting more of mom's unwanted furniture when she moves in permanently with us?

Just say "No". We used to have a poster here who said "just say 'Oh, I couldn't possibly do that'". Full stop. End of sentence. Say it nicely. If the plea is repeated say "I said it nicely; I get less nice when I have to repeat things". I understand her love of her things; truly I do. At 78 I am downsizing fast, and I understand the losses, but I need to figure what will fit in an assisted living room. I will NOT be moving in with, and disrupting the lives of my children. Other people make other choices, and if your Mom's and yours is to live together, then that is lovely. But it is time to downsize now. Were she a Pharoah in Egypt with a big pyramid to outfit, she could put it all there.
To be perfectly honest, and I would SAY this, this inability to understand what you like, how you live, and that you ARE a minimalist does NOT bode well for the future. I would ask you to consider that. Were I you I would get and read the book, Boundaries. And I would begin to create them now.
As I said, I am so sorry for her loss, but as we age it is frankly all ABOUT loss, one after another, and if we end with our continence, our somewhat intact mind, our eyes and our mobility, that is "miracle enough" for this lifetime. To have a daughter that wants actually to take us into her home and life, I call GRAVY.

It is YOUR household, not mom's. If she wants to move in she should be happy to abide by your rules. If you have enough furniture, then you have enough. People differ very greatly in there tolerance of clutter, But it is your house and your rules. I would stop and think very carefully where mom's attitude to your home might lead. It is not mom's furniture warehouse and she does not control the decorating. I'd think about her attitude. Is she actually willing to be your guest? Respect your preferences for your household? Are you inviting in endless friction if mom moves in permanently? Maybe wise to call this whole thing off.

I vote for having her move into a smaller, cheaper apartment during a pandemic, with all of her beloved furniture & antiques. She can continue to visit you any time you'd BOTH like company, but she'll have a place of her own to go home to and to sit with her treasures and enjoy them.

Good luck!

Thanks so much for everyone's advice! Her lease on her current expensive apartment is coming up. She does not have the money to continue to rent it. She wants to move in with me permanently if she has space. Otherwise, she'll move to a smaller, cheaper apartment during a pandemic. My husband and I feel strongly that moving into a smaller apartment during a pandemic is foolish. Plus, she'll never be there because she's already living with us effectively. We already have her 1 side of our house. Today, I cleared her closet that was "so full". It was 90% full of blankets and linens so I just moved them to our central line area. I also can get her a raise bed with drawers underneath. So that should be plenty of space for clothes. It's just the furniture is a absolute no way for my husband and I. We already have enough of it and don't need anymore. Not enough space and totally not our style. I like the idea of taking photos of it or getting her a senior downsizing specialist. In my mind, the other options are storage or stay in her current apartment for one more year.

PS I thought I was the only one dealing with this issue so it's really nice to know that I'm not alone. Thank you.

PPS we do want her move in (no different than what were currently doing.) My father passed away and the kids and her are best buds, which is awesome. I have a more challenging relationship but it's fine.

You may want to re-think having Mom move in. Any attachments, quirks and behaviors you find annoying will amp up x10. She will not change or adapt to your minimalist lifestyle.

I read this again, and wondered whether you, OP, are the male or female part of ‘we’? It is often difficult for a woman who has managed her own house for years, to become the third wheel in someone else’s house. Even harder for the younger woman to cope with a ‘guest’ who wants to take over and call the shots. Not easy for the male caught in the crossfire, either. If you can’t even agree on the furniture, it really doesn’t bode well for the future. Think very carefully about this.

Mom no longer needs a whole house - therefore no longer needs a houseworth of stuff.
This must be a big adjustment for many. This letting go.

In the theory of psychosocial development created by Erik Eriksonage: Stage 8: Integrity Versus Despair

The final psychosocial stage is known as integrity versus despair and it begins around the age of 65 and lasts until death. During this period of time, the individual looks back on his or her life. The major question during this stage is, "Did I live a meaningful life?"

All those antiques and treasures she collected may be strong memories & what makes her life meaningful to her.

Not many ideas on what to do about them though! Sorry! Make a photo album? With dates, history, beautiful photos. There are companies that will publish your self-made books. My DH has one with his Grandma's childhood stories. He said it gave her great pleasure to compile them.

Issue 4 Why did mom decide? Did you have any say in this.?

Issue 5 What happens when mom ages and needs a 24 hour caregiver?

Issue 6 What does hubby say? This could destroy your marriage.

Issue 7 Will mom. be paying rent and expenses?

Issue 8 Have you talked with an elder law attorney?

Have someone help you to think of all the issues th a t could come up

Issue 9 Does mom have Powers of Attorney setup? Other necessary documents?

If furniture is already an issue think long and hard about what you are doing.

Issue number 1 is ‘Do you want mother to move in with you?’. There are many many threads about the problems it brings, especially with a mother who has her own ideas about what goes in what you think of as YOUR house.

Issue number 2 is ‘Is your mother’s furniture of any real value, apart from to her memories?’ If there is a real value, talk to her about putting it on Ebay to find other people who would also really value it. You can put a high minimum bid, so that it doesn’t go for nothing, and you can even get a conversation going about provenance – ie where and when it came from, how much it means to your mother. I’ve done that myself, about rugs, to be nice to vendors and their elders, and to get some history that I value myself.

Issue number 3 is ‘Is this a temporary problem? Would it help mother for her to pay for storage, so that decisions can be postponed until things may change’. I remember my early married days when we were all for knotty pine, and my MIL and FIL valued dark oak – now I think they were right and I was crazy. Storage isn’t always cheap, but it may help the vibes now, and perhaps the next generation later.

Love, Margaret

You're not unreasonable to say no to your entire house being taken over by her hoard, no.

She's not unreasonable to decide she's more attached to her possessions than she is to the idea of moving in with you permanently without them.

As she's already staying with you 99% of the time, is this an issue that you can't just leave as a stalemate? Do you need to sell her house or something like that?

To clarify: you have already given over, what, two rooms to your mother - so what sort of living space and accommodation does she have when she's with you?

"Love me, love my junk" - I would remind you of Frasier's Dad's special armchair :)