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M
Martz06 Asked January 2021

My 82 yo father with dementia had his first major fall yesterday. Broke 3 ribs. Now he’s home. Anyone else with this experience?

I’m surprised he was even able to get into the hospital. There were no beds because of Covid and he had to wait in the waiting room. They were so busy they were forgetting to give my husband and brother in law instructions. My father broke 3 ribs and the nurse says he may need help going to the restroom (he lives in our guesthouse). So we pulled out the sofa bed and insisted he stay with us so we can monitor him. Well his balance is so bad (I'm guessing from the pain) he falls in my living room, thankfully didn’t get hurt because he falls onto a sofa. My father is insisting he can go back home and make himself dinner (yes he was always very stubborn and independent, even more so with dementia). I’m guessing he will need full time caregiving until he is healed? If so I need to figure this out. I don’t believe Medicare pays for short term in-home caregiving do they?

Beatty Jan 2021
The first major fall doesn't have to be the instant end of independent living (although sometimes it is) but certainly reviewing his situation seems wise.

Just because elders insist they can do something - doesn't mean they actually can.

CTTN55 Jan 2021
I read this in a previous post from 3 months ago: "Just the other day I was telling my sister how stressed I am taking care of my father on top of having seizures. Her reply is well you chose to take care of him. Can I help it if I saw him in need and decided to be the responsible one and act? While she and her husband are making plans to buy a beach house and travel out of country next year. Yes it’s hard not to feel resentment. I had to explain to her I can only do so much being sick myself. In time, he will either have to go to a care home or live with her. Her reply? There’s no way I’m letting him go to a care home and he can’t live with me."

So here you are and here he is, in your home, and you are doing the caregiving.

You are in no position to continue this, with your health issues. What is your father's financial situation? Can he afford a facility? It's going to get worse, not better.

Do you have POA? HCPOA?

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fost40 Jan 2021
I would contact the Department of Aging in your area to assist with getting the necessary help for your dad. Have you thought about a assisted living facility?

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