Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
E
ExhaustedOne Asked January 2021

Since hospital discharge, Mom will not leave her bed. Some advice, please...

So, Mom got out of the hospital this past week because she was severely constipated/impacted and needed intervention there. She's home now and refuses to get out of her bed. She won't use a transport chair, go to the toilet or anywhere. She has nearly refused having pullups changed while she's in bed. I honestly just don't know what to do anymore. She will not leave her bed.


Please, if anyone has any advice or had dealt with such a thing, HELP!


Thanks!

BarbBrooklyn Jan 2021
Exhausted One, it sounds as though perhaps your mom has another UTI. Can you get her tested?
ExhaustedOne Jan 2021
Yep, she just had another test last week, no UTI but something's definitely going on with her.
NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2021
Nurses often say that people should call hospice much sooner than they do.

Hospice does a wonderful job at making patients feel comfortable.

Anyone who qualifies for hospice can benefit from their services.

ADVERTISEMENT


JoAnn29 Jan 2021
My Mom was in the last stage of Dementia when she would not get out of bed. I told the nurses not to force her because they fault her. When I was called to say she wasn't swallowing, I called in Hospice. Mom was gone acweek later.

Your Mom's hospital stay was probably traumatic. She was in a strange place with strange people. I bet she was never taken out of bed the whole time. Call her PCP. I don't see where a Physic eval will do any good with a person with advanced Dementia.

Beatty Jan 2021
Won't get out of bed - or can't get out of bed do you think? Seek medical help by phone, video or home visit, whatever is available to you.

InFamilyService Jan 2021
I think I would start with her PCP and request help immediately. You may need agency caregivers until the PCP can get you in contact with a social worker to see what your options are.
The hospital also has social workers that could have helped arrange or find care and possibly a placement if needed.
You may have to send her back to hospital for an evaluation on what is best care for her.

lealonnie1 Jan 2021
From your previous posts, your mother has advanced dementia and appears to need placement in either a Memory Care Assisted Living or a Skilled Nursing facility.

If she won't eat, drink, toilet or move, I'd call 911 and have her taken back to the hospital for a psych evaluation. Let her know your plan in advance in case that changes her mind about cooperating with you. If not, once she's back in the hospital, let the social worker know you can't take her back home and she needs placement immediately

Good luck with a bad situation, you have my sympathy
ExhaustedOne Jan 2021
I feel like a dope, I didn't even know this was an option...the psych evaluation trip back to the hospital. We're zeroing in on placement for her and going from there to the new residence would probably be so much easier. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Geaton777 Jan 2021
Has your mom been checked for a UTI while she was in the hospital? I would make sure this is discounted first. My MIL basically refused to get out of bed at age 81. She is in LTC. We tried everything: more rehab, incentive chart, begging, hand-written notes from us. Nothing. Nada. The sad thing is there is nothing wrong with her physically. I worked so hard to get her into a great facility on Medicaid. Once there she refused to get out of bed. Not even to eat. Doesn't engage with others, doesn't go to the in-house church, activities, events. The facility can't make her get out of bed. I guess my advice is try to do what you can, but with tempered expectations.
NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2021
It’s so sad. So sorry about your MIL.

The same thing happened to my friend’s younger sister that she cares for.

She has Down’s Syndrome with dementia.

Nothing physically wrong but she stopped walking and stays in bed. She’s only 51!

My friend told me that people with Down’s Syndrome don’t live to an advanced age.
NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2021
How old is your mom?

Has she done this in the past? Is she in pain? Fearful? Depressed?

What did her doctor and nurses say upon her discharge from the hospital?

So sorry that you are struggling with this situation.
ExhaustedOne Jan 2021
She has not done this to this extreme at all in the past. But now it's pretty constant. I'm going to give it another try this morning, to get her out of bed, on the toilet and letting me clean her up. Wish me luck!
EmotionallyNumb Jan 2021
Is she giving a reason why she won't get out of bed?
ExhaustedOne Jan 2021
No, none. She just refuses. Now she's refusing to let anyone change her very wet Depends. And if she does let them change them, she won't allow herself to be cleaned which means she's developing a rash now. If you try and do this, she threatens to punch you, screams for the police, her dead parents...basically screams the nastiest, foulest stuff you've ever heard.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter