What is your mom's state of mind? Did these delusional accusations come on suddenly or have you noticed other unusual behavior for awhile? If this is a sudden change in behavior, it may be a UTI or the effects of stress or isolation because of COVID, or even meds interaction. If you've noticed other issues with her day to day living, such as confusion, difficulty telling time or dates, not remembering how to use a remote control or how to follow cooking directions, you should have her screened for dementia. Her PCP can usually determine what course to take.
If you suspect dementia, I would tell her you're going to speak to your husband about it and get to the bottom of it. In other words, don't deny her belief but try to offer a solution she would accept. If dementia isn't a concern, identifying and treating the other issues, UTI, etc., should solve the problem.
Talk to her doctor about her delusional thinking which can be related to an underlying health problem (like dementia) or a side effect of a medication. Get to the cause and get over the hurt. It's easier to deal with when you know what's underlying the behavior.
Ann34, what health issues does your Mom have? I see that she lives by herself as per your profile.
Have your Mom checked by her primary doctor or at urgent care to see if she has an urinary tract infection. Such infections can cause so many different issues with an older person, such as false accusations.
Well--do you coexist in the same home? That would be huge, if so. Mom can have 24/7 complaints in that case. I feel for your DH! IF she lives in a NH or some kind of assisted living facility, just let it roll off your back.
Is mom dxed with some kind of cognitive losses? If she's not 'in her right mind' trying to explain that she is making accusations that have no ground is pointless. In her mind, theft is going on and he's the thief.
If she is completely 'ok' and still doing this, I would have a serious talk with her. About the importance of being honest and truthful.
If she's not--wow, I feel for you, but this is 'her reality' and yours aren't a part of it, really. She's just making stuff up. While knowing that may be helpful, it still hurts to be accused of this.
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If you suspect dementia, I would tell her you're going to speak to your husband about it and get to the bottom of it. In other words, don't deny her belief but try to offer a solution she would accept. If dementia isn't a concern, identifying and treating the other issues, UTI, etc., should solve the problem.
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Have your Mom checked by her primary doctor or at urgent care to see if she has an urinary tract infection. Such infections can cause so many different issues with an older person, such as false accusations.
Is mom dxed with some kind of cognitive losses? If she's not 'in her right mind' trying to explain that she is making accusations that have no ground is pointless. In her mind, theft is going on and he's the thief.
If she is completely 'ok' and still doing this, I would have a serious talk with her. About the importance of being honest and truthful.
If she's not--wow, I feel for you, but this is 'her reality' and yours aren't a part of it, really. She's just making stuff up. While knowing that may be helpful, it still hurts to be accused of this.