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Melissa1377 Asked January 2021

Resources or services available to help assist with my disabled father?

Hello,


A year ago my 74 year old father had a severe stroke. He was in the hospital for about two months and went to a rehab facility where he was suppose to get intense rehab. The first rehab facility didn’t do much for him. He then went to a short term place and received amazing help but could only stay for two weeks. He was then transferred to two other places. I need to get him out of the place where he is now it’s awful. I’m considering to just bring him home, but I need to know what resources are out there to help me. I’m 37 and have two small boys. I can take care of him but not 24 hours like he needs. I can pay for a few hours a day but not 24. What services are available to me? I’m in Illinois and I have nobody to turn to or get any help from.

GardenArtist Jan 2021
Melissa, contact your county offices.  In a city as large as Chicago, I would think that there would be a senior department.   My county has one, with a variety of resources, including provision of respite care.

Senior Centers are also good sources of information.  

And sometimes older elected representatives have brochures specifically for seniors, outlining resources available to them.  I used to get these brochures at the Area Agency on Aging as well as local community senior expos, but the AAA expos in my area were D/C'ed, and the Senior Centers aren't holding them now b/c of the pandemic.

Your father's at an age that might have brought him into service during the Vietnam "War".   Is he a Veteran?  If so, see my answer in this post, and adapt it to your circumstances to see if the VA can help:

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/is-there-any-type-of-grant-for-a-80yr-old-retired-va-vet-for-home-modification-and-in-home-family-ca-464426.htm?orderby=recent&page=1�

Good luck.

Geaton777 Jan 2021
Sometimes a facility will stop rehab if the patient "plateaus", meaning doesn't make progress. The PT/OT people can only do so much. Please read a few more posts on this forum from people who are sandwiched between an aging, non-independent parent in their home and a young family. FYI your children have priority over your father. Please do not spend your own money for his care -- a main reason being this may delay or disqualify him from getting Medicaid. In the application process there is a 2.5 to 5 yr "look back" period (depending on your state). If your father has any assets at all and he still has all his cognitive abilities, I would encourage him to invest in a 1 to 2 hr consult with an elder law/estate planning attorney who knows Medicaid.

When you say you can pay for a few hours of care for him a day... have you considered what will happen if he doesn't improve? And actually declines (as he is 74, which is technically not that old, but age-related decline does begin)? Please do not spend your own money on his care -- you are robbing yourself and your kids (and it sounds like you are single so doubly unwise strategy).

Please talk to a professional first before you come to any conclusions. Your father should pay for this consult. Also, are you your father's PoA? I hope so. May you gain wisdom and peace in your heart as you journey through time with your family.

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Countrymouse Jan 2021
www.chicago.gov/city/en/depts/fss/provdrs/senior.html

This is the link for Chicago's Area Agency on Aging, which might be a useful place to start.

But where you really need to start is a clear-eyed, worked-out schedule of your father's care needs. What actually has to happen in any given 24 hour period for his wellbeing to be adequately taken care of?

If he's in a nursing home you're unhappy with, I can quite understand your instinct that he must be better off living with you - but that just ain't necessarily so. Why the two moves after the successful intensive rehab? And what are the main issues now?

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