My mom just started hospice on Saturday, my mom and my sister and uncle decided it would be good since she had respiratory failure three times since October and she doesn't want to be intubated anymore.
Right now I'm worried about her oxygen while she sleeps with the trilogy ventilator. It's supposed to help with the COPD and retaining c02, but the past few nights her oxygen has been getting in the low 70s. I called the hospice nurse and she said as long as my mom seems comfortable and is relaxed and is sleeping well that I shouldn't worry about the numbers, and that it's the natural progressing of the disease. But I checked on her again and it was down to 55 and I really don't know what to do! Should I call the hospice nurse again? I woke my mom up and it went back up but only to 62 and then took the trilogy mask off and out the regular oxygen/cannula and now is staying in the upper 80s lower 90s range, but she isn't supposed to sleep without the trilogy because of the retaining c02.
I just don't know why in the past few days her oxygen is getting so low while sleeping/using the trilogy ventilator.
I'm scared to sleep when her oxygen is getting so low, and scared I'll wake up and find her with respiratory failure again.
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I realized then that I was fighting off the fact that my father was living his last couple of days of life; that's what it looked like, that's what it felt like, and I was witnessing the minutiae of it. What was I expecting, exactly? I realized, too, that he wasn't suffering, thanks to hospice and the medication the nurse was giving him. I was the one who was suffering, as you are doing right now.
When we hire hospice we decide to let nature take its course and to allow our loved ones to die when their body's are too tired to go on living. We have to accept that and know they're not in pain or suffering, just that their journey here on Earth is coming to an end. It's hard and it's gut wrenching, but it's the cycle of life, and there's nothing we can do to stop it or change it. But we CAN take care of ourselves and not watch every moment through a magnifying glass, you know? That's when it all becomes too much and we're ready to break down ourselves.
Have faith; in God, in hospice and in the knowledge that your dear mom will pass when He is ready to take her home where she will be whole once again. Wishing you strength and peace during a very difficult time.
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Its my understanding that there comes a point that no matter how much you raise the oxygen levels, it will no longer work. Her lungs are just not able to get the oxygen thru her system. So, she will go into respiratory failure, its inevitable. You call the Nurse, someone should be on call 24/7. Morphine is usually given to ease the breathing.
I am so sorry you are going thru this.
If it were me I would toss the pulse ox away and stop focusing on numbers that at this point aren't really helpful. At some point we all have to face the reality that life is finite and nothing we can do will alter that fact, the best we can hope for is to make the end chapter as easy as possible.