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Dontworrybhappy Asked January 2021

Putting together info on my area to help mom make a decision where to move. What should I include?

Now that her last sibling has passed (they lived in same town) and her own health failing, mom has decided it would be a good idea to move near one of her kids. We all live significantly far from her current location and in different parts of the country. She's never traveled to see any of us where we live and she doesn't want to now due to covid. So we are putting together info packets on our locations to help her decide where she'd like to move. What things/info should be included other than general area info, weather, cost of living comparison to where she is now, Healthcare options nearby, housing options....?

Tothill Jan 2021
Talk to your local Chamber of Commerce about relocation packages for each community. They should mail them free of charge to her.

Impossible Jan 2021
If your mom likes to attend church can she drive herself or will you drive her? Is there a senior centre or other opportunities for her to socialize and make friends? Does she want to move in with one of you or is she going to get her own place? What can she afford? Are there good retirement/nursing homes nearby? These might be needed in future unless you are prepared to care for her in your home - which I don't recommend. It rarely works out to the satisfaction of everyone. Are there grandchildren that she would see on a regular basis? Is she well enough to use public transportation? If not a home with social activities and outings would be a good option. It might make it easier for her to make new friends. If she doesn't make new friends she'll feel isolated and will depend on you to entertain her. That's not easy to do and have a life of your own. Good luck. I hope she is happy in her new environment.

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AlvaDeer Jan 2021
Healthcare options for certain. I swear by Kaiser. No bills. Such ease. And a good price for seniors. So I would love to know I could get it. Weather for certain, esp. if she will drive, have to pay heating bills. It gets figured in the cost of living. Medicaid lookback for Seniors is in California only 2 1/2 years, whereas in other states it is 5 years. Also the circumstances on when and how you can get Medicaid coverage if it is ever needed. Definitely the cost of living as far as housing.
Is there a reason to hurry here? Because I am getting covid vaccine the 28th. Once she has this and family does she could conceivably travel.
Cost of living for Assisted Living, which will come, varies amazingly. I would suggest everyone look at their own area. What my brother got for 4,095 in Southern California (Palm Springs) was costing ONE HALF of what it would cost in the Bay Area of San Francisco where I live.
So there are a lot of factors and how wise you are to try to begin slowly to consider all of them you can think of.
Dontworrybhappy Jan 2021
To your question of is there a reason to hurry here...her lease runs out in June and she has said she won't move before that. However, we'd like to have her on the move before her lease has to be renewed (for a year).

She has had major medical issues in the last 6 months which landed her in ICU. She does not take care of herself or follow dr ordered directions as she thinks she knows better and they are just out to get her money. She's non compliant about many things because no one is there to keep her on track.

From across the country for the past 6 months I have been setting up all of her transportation and personal care needs.

She is eligible for the covid vaccine as of this week in her state. We are working out a schedule for transportation for her to achieve this.

However, myself and my siblings and family that live with us, will not be eligible in our states for the foreseeable future (last rung on the ladder for all of us). Even if we were to get it soon, she would NOT travel to see us as this isn't a covid thing, she just doesn't travel to see us, period. All decisions will need to be made via given information to her.
Stacy0122 Jan 2021
What does she like to do visit gardens, exercise classes, casinos, etc? Give her info about her interests in the area.

BarbBrooklyn Jan 2021
If mom wants to optimize the amount of time she can remain independent, she needs to look at the availability of one level living, elevators, ability to install grab bars, easy access to medical care, grocery and presciotion shopping/delivery and public/ride share transportation.

The number, affordability and quality and close-by IL, AL and NHs should also be considered.

NYDaughterInLaw Jan 2021
Locations that have a strong geriatric practice especially if it's associated with a university medical center.

Elder transportation options. Some communities have vans and where Uber and Lyft options are good.

Wherever she goes, I would say it ought to be the place closest to or most convenient for whoever has durable power of attorney. In my opinion, it is a bad idea for anyone taking on the responsibility of caregiving without having authority.

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