Am I a bad person for not wanting to see my dying grandfather?

I ended up facetiming him. It was hard to see him in this shape but he kept nodding as if he were telling me it’s all going to be okay. I feel better now knowing I was able to tell him everything I wanted. Thank you for all of your responses, I really do appreciate it. Please take care of yourselves.

To be very honest, as a nurse who has seen many die, in the last times the family is more a burden to a dying person than anything else often enough. They try very hard to respond when really they just want to shut their eyes and rest. are ' Your not attending now is going to make no difference UNLESS it makes a difference to family you are going to have to "live with" after your Granddad is gone.
As to what kind of granddaughter you were BEFORE he fell ill? There is nothing you can do to change not being there in ways you felt you should be. There is no repair on something done or not done. All that can be expected from mistakes we feel we made in our lives is to learn lessons from it and live our lives differently going forward.
Of course you are not a "bad person". You are a human being, not a Saint. We all have limitations. We all have moments when, we think retrospectively on actions and judge ourselves wanting, lazy, whatever. We all have moments we wish we could relive and do better. That is called "Live and Learn". Your Granddad was young once, too. You can bet he would understand.

You are not a bed person at all. No judgement here either. It is completely understandable why you don’t want to go. This will be your last memory of him alive. Personally I would not want this to my last memory of my grandparent. I wouldn’t go either. Your grandfather knows you love him & that is all that matters. I am so sorry.

You aren't a bad person at all. You do what you can do. Write him a note telling him you love him and ask someone to read it to him.

I was with my dad when he died and he looked so awful, I was sure I'd never forget that image. It had left my mind within a month.

No judgement here.

We each have to do what is best for us individually when it comes to visiting dying relatives, with or without a pandemic going on.

Your grandfather will remember the good times you had with him as will you.

When my Granny was dying I took time off work and was with her all day, but not at night. My choice. Several of my cousins came for an afternoon. That was their choice.

When my step dad was dying I had no interest at all in visiting him in the hospital. His last day, Mum knew the end was near and asked me to come for her own comfort. I was there with Mum until he died. Again my choice.

Here in North America we are very distanced from death and dead bodies. We often fear it. I did not see a dead body until I was in my late 30's. In my part of Canada viewings are almost unheard of. But my ex's uncle had to be identified, so I volunteered to do it.

You are not a bad person for not wanting to see your grandfather in the shape he is in now. Not everyone can handle that. You just don't want to have any regrets, once he is gone, as then it will be too late to change things. Perhaps you can call him, and have someone hold the phone up to his ear(as hearing is the last sense to go)so you can at least tell him how much you love him. I'm sure he would love to hear from you before he dies, and it will make you feel better as well.