Mom keeps taking off her personal fall alert necklace, any alternatives?

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JennaRose Asked January 2021

Mom keeps taking off her personal fall alert necklace, any alternatives?

My 95 year old Mom has alzheimer's / dementia and I gently let her know how important it is to wear the Phillips Lifeline Necklace which has fall detection but she forgets (which I understand due to her dementia). She loves wearing her gold necklace. I even took off the string that is threaded through the Lifeline and put a 18K gold plated snake chain through it, but that didn't work either.

Any ideas as I do need to leave the house for 20 to 30 minutes to buy food or pick up her medication.

For those that don't know me, I am a full time caregiver for my Mom (24/7) and I don't have any help nor at this time do I need any help since my Mom is the sweetest person I know and so easy to take care of. I'm scared that she may fall (which she has done in the past).

I do have a smart phone if that makes any difference.

Thanks,

Jenna

Alzheimer's & Dementia Personal Alert Devices Product

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score 0 · Answer 1

My mom had a necklace that she'd leave around the neck of her blouse when she took it off (and so it was in the clothes hamper, LOL). I found where she lived, there was also a "watch" alert option. She was used to wearing a watch, so I had her necklace switched to a watch and that solved the issue. A watch is also harder to take off, because your mom would have to work the clasp, which might stop her from removing it.

If that's not an option, could you put the necklace in a pocket instead of around her neck, so she would forget it is there?

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score 1 · Answer 2

Imho, elders' mindset are often incorrect in NOT wearing the Life Alert pendant. My mother would take her's off while showering, but she knew that she wasn't supposed to remove it. Still, she would say something akin to "I didn't want it to get wet," even though she had been told to wear it AT ALL TIMES. Prayers sent.

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score 0 · Answer 3

The staff sometimes gave one of those to my mother, more to "call" for assistance, but she had NO clue what it was. If it caught her attention, she'd bring the button up to inspect it, then push it. Of course staff would then have to come undo the call! Seems like that was a waste of time for them, not really accomplishing the "goal" (don't think it was anything more than a call button - mom wasn't at the point where she'd fall from a chair or the wheelchair.)

Could the button be pinned to the back of her shirt/sweater? Since she's less likely to press the button, it's the fall feature that's important. If it's placed right, she won't be able to reach it. The ability to call for help is less useful if 1) they can't remember and 2) if the fall or the cause of the fall renders them unable to move/press it, so it's mainly the fall feature that would help.

Cameras are good too, so long as they can capture all parts of the house. They don't rely on the person's ability to call for help. Even if generally she stays in her room or the bathroom, she could wander off into other parts of the house, perhaps confused and looking for you. YB put up some cameras, but certainly not enough to be able to see her anywhere in her condo. They were helpful, but not enough for my comfort - I'd have to wait until she came into view to know if she was up and about!

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We live in a small ranch house (3 small bedrooms and 1 bathroom). There is only 1 hallway that leads from her bedroom to the bathroom. The camera I ordered from Amazon (I will give reviews once I set it up) should capture my Mom not only in her bedroom but also the hallway on my smartphone. If it works like it says it should, I will order a 2nd camera to put in the bathroom because she could fall there as well.

This camera has a feature where it pans 360 degrees and up and down. It also has a feature where I can talk to her when I'm in a store.

My Mom rarely goes into the kitchen (except when we play cards most afternoons on our large kitchen table) because she depends on me to get her meals and I have never seen her in the living room. She enjoys her bedroom the most because that's where her TV is and her Echo Dot where she could listen to music all day. Then she puts on her game shows.

I'm excited about this camera and once again if it does what it says it does (I did lots of research before ordering it) then I will give my review.

That said, as long as she wears the pendant during the day (which works when she has fallen in the past) then that's good.

My question when I first posted was I wanted to know what other 24/7 caregivers use to monitor their elderly loved ones and how to keep them safe as well as the problem with my Mom taking off her pendant at night because it bothers her when she goes to sleep and getting in her position to lay on her side. My Mom is a good sleeper and rarely gets up during the night (though anything could happen).

Thanks,
Jenna

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score 2 · Answer 4

I posted earlier but I have another comment. You said she wears the pendant during the day but takes it off when she is in bed. I work part-time for a medical alert company (The Electronic Caregiver) and with our system the individual can wear the pendant as a wristwatch or around their neck, it is interchangeable. With the system you have do you have that option?

I was glad to hear that she wears the fall pendant on the outside of her clothes which means it should work correctly. I can't tell you how many times someone falls and it does not register the fall due to the pendant being tucked in their shirt!

Helpful Answer (2)

I don't know if Philip's Lifeline can be interchangeable with the wristwatch. The problem with the wristwatch is it doesn't have the fall detection feature and my Mom (due to her dementia) probably would not push the button. The pendant is better as it has set off the monitor when she has fallen in the past. She doesn't need to press the button.

(0)

score 2 · Answer 5

Jenna-I am 92 years old and recently widowed. My older son got me the medic alert with a lock box on the door since I live alone. I do sometimes find it a bit heavy even though he exchanged it for a newer lighter model. I asked them to send me a clip for my belt which they did but it may not work as well for fall prevention. I to take it off sometimes when I go to sleep and put it on my pillow. Trouble is when I get up for toilet time I sometimes forget it. I often think what if I fell and it was on my pillow! The gold chain sounds like it might work. Good luck with all you do for your Mommy. You are a blessing. My 3 sons live 1200 miles away, We text one another every morning. Thank G-d for family.

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score 1 · Answer 6

I had a bed alarm, so when mom got out of bed it went off so we ( or the nurses at the care home) would know she got off the bed

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score 1 · Answer 7

How about taking the chain off and replacing it with a pretty, soft ribbon...then make it short enough to not take off. Tie the know tightly.

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score 0 · Answer 8

Maybe you could safety pin it to the front of her shirt. Pin from the inside so she would have some difficulty in removing it. While she may forget to push the button if she was needing help, the device would still alert you if there was a fall.

The only other thing I can think of, and it may be time, is to have 1-2 days a week where you run errands and you hire someone to come in to sit with her when you're out. Obviously, there are times you will have to be out of the house, but food delivery can be used for grocery shopping. If her meds are the same all the time, you may be able to get those by mail or drug store delivery.

Regarding meds, talk to drug store about getting them to all come due at same time. For a while, I was going to drug store several times a month. Now I have them all due at same time. I keep a chart of all drugs, how many refills left on each one, and start calling dr for an expired RX before it is due, and call the drug store to order what I need all at one time. I also request 90 day supplies. Has been a real timesaver.

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I pick up her meds at Walmart which is not far away and after I get her meds I also shop for groceries and staples we need in the house. Thus I am killing 2 birds with one stone. I'm very friendly with all the pharmacists there but when I start walking I walk very fast (it's just a habit I picked up from when I worked in New York City). I keep reminding myself that I need to walk slower, lol!

Anyway, I enjoy going to Walmart because it gives me some respite time.

If I pinned the lifeline pendant to her clothes I don't think the pendant would work because it needs to touch the floor if she falls down which sets off the monitor in which someone calls immediately to ask if she needs help. If she is laying on the floor she could hear the monitor and speak to the person who called. The pendant needs to have some room to swing and touch the floor or else it's purpose is defeated.

(0)

score 1 · Answer 9

I ordered a new camera from Amazon that has a 360 degree motion in which I can see my Mom on my smartphone at all angles. I didn't like the camera's I had (I had set one up 2 days ago).

My Mom has the Echo Dot and I have the Show. Problem is we both can't use it at the same time (as far as I know). Mom uses her Echo Dot all day long asking it to play her favorite music. She's really cute when she tells the Dot to make it louder or lower as she says "computer, please make the sound louder". She's so polite!

She's wearing the necklace and in the past when she would fall it sensed it and Lifeline alert would go off with someone speaking to me from the nearby hospital.

Today I have an eye doctor app't which is really important because I'm having problems with my vision. I may need cataract surgery (won't know until I see the doctor) or just stronger glasses. This will take about 2 hours or more.

I'm taking my Mom with me so I won't have to worry about her. It's good for her to get out of the house since it's a beautiful drive and it's about 30 minutes away.

When I leave to buy food or pick up her medication I'm not gone that long. My Mom is not comfortable with people she doesn't know and I don't know if anyone would sit with her for 1 hour or less.

I'm a homebody at heart and when I relax I'm happy knitting as I watch my favorite shows and movies. Even before my Mom moved in with me I was a homebody. I enjoy my own company!

Thanks for all the suggestions everyone.

Jenna

Helpful Answer (1)

You seem like a really nice person. Do you have a neighbor you could spontaneously ask to watch your mom for an hour? I would do that for my neighbors.

(1)

score 4 · Answer 10

She may be beyond the point where she would be able to use it, remember to use it, or understand its importance.

I recommend installing cameras around the house that can be monitored via a phone app. For example, people use them for their pets when they need to leave the house. (We have the Kasa app on our phones for that purpose.)

The only alert device that seems to be somewhat reliable is the ankle bracelet that cannot be removed easily. They use them in nursing homes.

Helpful Answer (4)

I agree. When my father was in the SNF they had their device on their ankle - the residents were unable to remove it.

(0)

score 0 · Answer 11

Can you hire someone to watch her while you go grocery shopping or have appointments?
You could set up a time for once or twice a week for errands and also schedule appointment times as you get them.

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That's just the best avatar!

(0)

score 1 · Answer 12

We have the Ring Alert cameras and phone app. You can keep an eye on her on your phone, the motion detector let's you know if she's moving around and it also has an intercom so you can talk to her and remind her to sit down or whatever until you get back. There's even a siren alert that you can set off if she starts going somewhere she shouldn't.

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score 4 · Answer 13

It is a difficult situation when a person with dementia won't wear a medical alert pendant. There is a company that makes soles for a person's shoes that has a GPS tracking device in them. Most individuals with dementia do wear their shoes, so this is a good resolution for many. However, this system does not have a fall detection component. I really don't know a good solution for that part of the problem.

I want to let you know that if your mom has a fall pendant, it is crucial to know that she must wear the pendant outside of her clothes. These pendants need to be able to register the velocity and the impact of a fall. When someone is wearing the pendants on the inside of a shirt, the fall may not register.

Helpful Answer (4)

It's not that she won't wear it but takes it off because it bothers her when she goes to sleep at night as she feels it when she turns on her side, so she is wearing the pendant during the day but not at night.

Yes, she does wear it outside of the clothes.

Thanks!

(0)

score 2 · Answer 14

The cameras are the best idea. If you think she might forget and try to leave the house, you can get more for the doors. My mother, who is in a facility, takes hers off all the time and cannot remember where she put it. If you do continue with the pendant, you are wise to recognize that she probably won't know to. push the button; if she remembers now, she might not in 3 months. She could fall even with you or an aide standing right there so please don't be too upset if she falls while you are at the store. If you only leave her to go to buy food or pick up medication, you might want to get a little help once a week or so, to get some respite time for yourself. That is not the question you asked us but I wanted to remind you that no matter how sweet or easy to care for your mom is, you still need to break.
Good luck

Helpful Answer (2)

My Mom has never left the house. When I go out I'm gone for about 30 minutes to 45 minutes. I don't think anyone will sit with my Mom for such a short amount of time.

The camera I ordered this morning after doing a lot of research not only has the 360 degree monitoring but also an intercom. So if I'm at the store I can see what my Mom is doing.

(3)

score 0 · Answer 15

Do they offer the bracelet one? (although a friend cut hers off). I finally gave up on the Medic Alert one for my 89 year old partner as we couldn't adjust the neck and it hit at almost the table level. it would go off when you didn't want it to and the one time that i pushed it for emergency help it rang and rang and rang until i gave up and grabbed the phone to call 911. Then they later showed in their records that THEY had called the paramedics!! I just give her her personal cell phone in here pocket or within reach if she falls when i go out (usually on her rolling walker). (Be careful about putting it in the pocket; once my partner fell in the garage and it went flying out under the car. Another time she fell and it also flew out of her pocket across the room.)

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My father also kept taking the pendant off because it hit just at the wrong point which was the most effective placement. He would set it off when eating and when he put it on the dresser at night. Didn't have that problem with the wrist band because he was used to wearing a watch. Ultimately, he fell and forgot to push the wrist button (we did periodic drills to remind him). He was there quite awhile before I discovered him. After that he went into memory care.

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score 0 · Answer 16

maybe a wrist band would work

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score 3 · Answer 17

Hi Jenna,
My mom, 96, who lives with us did the same thing every night before going to bed. She is still able to put herself to bed and get dressed in the morning. My mom also pushed the button a few times unnecessarily. The one she wears has an automatic fall response. What I had to do, which works for us is I placed tape over the call button. Also, so she does not remove the lanyard, I had to shorten it. Unconventional, but it's working for us. Good luck

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score 2 · Answer 18

Haven't checked how many people have already said this - ! - but lifelines are usually supplied with wrist straps as well as pendant cords.

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The problem with the wrist straps is they don't have a fall detection feature. At least Philip's lifeline doesn't. The pendant has the fall detection.

(2)

score 1 · Answer 19

My brother in law mentioned to me a wall mounted fall alert system. Something like this. I need to look in to it further myself. although it may be simpler to use a waterproof bracelet that she doesn’t take off. I bought my mom an Amazon dot and loaded an app called “ask my buddy” if she falls and is conscious she can yell “ask my buddy to call my daughter” I will then get a robo call telling me to check on my mom. My mom does not have a smart phone, but if you do then she can probably just command it to call you directly because you can make phone calls from you device if linked to a smartphone.

https://www.caring.com/best-medical-alert-systems/best-wall-mounted-medical-alert-systems/

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My Mom can ask her Echo Dot to call me (it has my cell phone number programmed) but because of her dementia she doesn't remember she can do that.

(0)

score 0 · Answer 20

Maybe make small pocket in back of tops to put the device into.

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score 1 · Answer 21

We have just looked into the Amazon Alexa Echo Show device. An Echo 8 has camera built in and Alexa she can talk to. You can monitor and talk to her no matter where you are with the Alexa app. Getting one for my mom who is moving from rehab into Assisted Living next week.

It is an absolutely amazing device and so many are buying them for their loved ones.

Go to Amazon and Google Amazon Alexa Show 8 (the 5 is too small) or 10.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086ZF1T9X/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=385410067577&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17906080205099223721&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1025930&hvtargid=kwd-820944420163&ref=pd_sl_g3rn32nhu_e

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I have the Alexa app on my phone but I need to re-program it. Mom has the Echo Dot and I have the Show.

Thanks!

(0)

score 0 · Answer 22

Could you sew it into a piece of clothing??

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score 0 · Answer 23

You might try letting her wear their watch instead if the necklace or put the necklace on too short of a chain thst she can't get it over her head.

you could also set up cameras thru out the house where you can watch her 24 7 and get alerts from your cell phone.

I had my son set up Nest which was quiet easy.

Until you figure it out, you can always have groceries and meds delivered.

But, a 24 7 Caregiver needs a break no matter how sweet the person is tgat they're taking care of.

You could plan to have a family member, friend or Caregiver come once a week for 3-4 hrs so you can have some time for yourself and or do errands.

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After doing research on camera's I ordered one this morning which has 360 degree so I can watch my Mom on my phone as well as talk to her when I'm out for a little while.

Everyone that is family has passed away except for my estranged sister who has refused to talk to my Mom for over 15 years now. My sister has problems that she can't resolve. With most of the stores in lockdown I wouldn't know where to go for 3 or 4 hours. I'm happiest at home where I do my knitting, love cooking, at watching my favorite movies. I'm a homebody at heart.

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score 4 · Answer 24

Jenna Rose: you can add sensors on the doors, windows, as well as other locations. I had a sensor on the lid of the bathroom waste container that my mom would use every time she used a personal non flushable wipe. I would get an alert and know she would need extra care. The non obtrusive device gave me the ability to “magically appear” whenever she needed me.

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score 2 · Answer 25

does she like to wear a watch? I know some alert things also have a watch that they can wear. My mom (not with dementia but has fallen) didn't wear any jewelry except wedding band, she didn't care for the watch but she does wear the necklace. Now I do NOT have a smart phone but as "smart" as they are, can you get some kind of camera in house that can be linked to your phone? that way you could view her while you are gone. if not, is there a good friend that could come in for that 1/2 hour, or hire a caregiver thru an office of aging service for an hour and that way you can take your time and give your mother someone new to talk to? wishing you luck.

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score 2 · Answer 26

My mil hated the feeling of it hanging around her neck. She said it just felt heavy to her. She bought shirts with pockets at the chest level. While she still hung it around her neck, she tucked it in pocket right away and it never bothered her after that. She didn't sleep with it at night but rather put it on the night stand. Then if she went to the bathroom during the night, she took it with her.

Helpful Answer (2)

I have a friend that fell in her bathroom and laid there for days. After she came home from the hospital, she checked out alert systems and finally decided they didn't work for her active lifestyle, so she sewed a pouch for her smartphone and carries it around her neck wherever she she goes. I carry my dumb phone in my pocket. My point is that if she doesn't like the placement or looks, perhaps someone can make her a pouch. I like your suggestion of the pockets even better.

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score 6 · Answer 27

I am thinking the best solution would be a regular aide at a regular weekly or bi-weekly time that sits while you shop - for safety & peace of mind.

I work with the elderly. When they have had a fall I ask do you have a falls alarm? So many say yes. Were you wearing it? Quite often yes. Did you press the button. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Answers include they forget they had it, forgot how it worked. Mostly shuffled to a phone to call a relative instead. One lay in a garden all night instead of pressing the button.

My own relative has lain on the floor all night without pressing the button. Oh well, she thought, can't fall any further, just sleep here tonight.

JennaRose, I don't mean to scare you. Just there are situations beyond your control. Providing the alarm IS in your control. Whether Mother pushes the button is not. Falls happen due to a zillion reasons: loss of balance but also due to TIA, stroke, heart attack, blood pressure problems etc. Not everyone who falls call think straight. I gather the necklace is an automated alarm? Better, but not the whole solution.

If she is on the floor she cannot fall further. Yes stroke, head injury, heart attack need immediate treatment but what are your Mother's plans? Does she want CPR? I am sorry to be confronting - but many don't want that.

Maybe try a sitter.

Not good for you to be rushing round the shops in a panic attack ☹️. (((hugs)))

Helpful Answer (6)

Hi Beatty,

Yes, the necklace has a fall detection alarm. It worked in the past when my Mom fell down (without her pressing the button) because it touches the floor in within seconds someone calls from our local hospital and speaks through the monitor asking if my Mom is okay. My Mom and/or myself talk to the monitor.

I know I can't protect her 100% but I can try with all the devices that are available to me. As I posted I ordered a camera that has a feature where it pans 360 degrees and follows my Mom which I can view on my smartphone as well as talk to her (it has an intercom feature).

When I go out (and that could be once a week) I'm only gone for 30 to 45 minutes (I'm a homebody and enjoy being at home). I don't know if someone would come and sit with my Mom for such a short time. That's why I ordered this camera so I can monitor my Mom when I am out as well as talk to her.

I got really nervous because I had an important eye doctor app't yesterday which was far away so I ended up bringing my Mom with me. She enjoyed the ride (Vermont is beautiful this time of year with the snow-capped trees and mountains). Mom said to me she would like to get out more often.

Thanks for your input,
Jenna

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score 4 · Answer 28

My Mom and I just finished playing cards and I asked her why she takes it off. She said it bothers her when she goes to sleep and lays on her side. I think if I can make it shorter it wouldn't bother her.

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score 2 · Answer 29

How is she removing the necklace? Can she undo it, or is she pulling it over her head?

If she is pulling it over her head can you shorten the chain? Or perhaps as others have suggested pin the chain at her shoulders so she cannot pull it over her head?

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She pulls it over her head. I adjust it to make it shorter but she plays with it and it's too long. I think I will locate the chain so it's shorter.

(1)

score 4 · Answer 30

I like Grandma1954's pocket idea, or perhaps pinning it to her waistband if there are no pockets. Somewhere out of sight would hopefully be out of mind as well so she wouldn't remove it.

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Mom keeps taking off her personal fall alert necklace, any alternatives?

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