How to reach out to a relative diagnosed with Cancer?

I know that everybody calls or texts today but I think that an old fashioned "thinking of you" card sent by snail mail might be more appropriate, to me is say you have made a little extra effort plus no immediate reply is necessary. Plus there is space to include a little message if you are so inclined.

I would just send her an email or a text, telling her that you're thinking of her and praying for her. You could also send her a card of encouragement too, just letting her know she's in your thoughts. She will reach out, when she's ready.

Since you heard about it through the grandson and he was not asking for privacy, I think it would be appropriate for you to reach out.

Do NOT mention anything about her calling your sister. That's OK. Just let it go. She's dealing with a lot and it's got to be tiring explaining over and over about what it going on.

I'd just tell her that are sorry to hear of her diagnosis and that if/when she'd like to talk, you are there for her, etc.

If you don't want to call, you could always email.

As a 35 year survivor of cancer I have this to say. Let HER contact you. At least for the first few months don't YOU go there. She is dealing with enough explanations and advice and by now she is up to her ears in it. Everyone has their story of great aunt Jen who DIED or Cousin Sue who lived. Everyone has advice about what YOU should do. The worst advice "You Have to stay positive." NEVER EVER say that. She can be positive one day and negative another and a crazy woman on the third day. None of that will kill her. She is not responsible for her own healing just as she did not cause her own cancer. So NEVER ever go there. If you are in the same area and have the time offer help for appointments or anything else you can do. Do not ASK HER what she is going to do for treatment. She will let you know. It is a simple matter of "I heard and I am so very sorry. I want to tell you that if there are things I can do for you, even just lend an ear, here I am." THAT AND THAT ONLY. People treat the cancer of friends like they are lookie-loos at a car crash. That was my experience of it. Cancer is still the forbidden word for you. But for her, she HAS it. It is a whole other thing.
Nothing is certain. Nothing is set in stone. My cancer was spread already to two lymph nodes in my underarm, a very aggressive type. Here I am 35 years ago and it isn't back. I refused radiation, and did only adjuvant (eaiser) chemo despite what my docs recommended. I made my choices and decided to live or die by them. She will be making her own with the help of her IMMEDIATE family and her docs. Basically, at the beginning, say very very little. I can tell you from experience as a nurse and a survivor, that for at least a year you are a bit of a wildwoman, dealing with all the stuff, and dealing with the decisions, and then trying to deal with well meaning people hoping to help as well.
As that's my advice. Another survivor may disagree with every single thing I said. I love you want to be there for her. So to the best of your ability DO THAT. Tell her "I make a mean casserole. When there's a day you don't want to cook let me know". One of my best friends told me "If there's a night you want to sit, talk and get drunk on white wine let me know; I'm your gal". I laughed so hard. And it was the ones who could make me laugh who ultimately got me through the hard spots.
She will do it HER WAY. Let her. Support her. Don't give advice unless you are truly asked for it seriously. Then be as honest as you can.

I suggest calling and if she doesn’t answer leave a message or send a text. I just went through cancer and honestly did not want to discuss it with everyone but a message or text was great. Maybe don’t say “call me back” but just say “I’m thinking about you”.