My Alz. mother does the same. She sits on the toilet for a long time (10 to 30 minutes) until I or someone urge her repeatedly to get up. My mom does have incontinence.
With dementia be thankful she still knows to do that. Anytime they are willing to try to go to the toilet they should be encouraged. It's a lot easier than changing depends.
Do you have a bedside commode over her toilet? If not, that might help her get up better as it has the handles on each side for her to hold on to as she tries to get up. It also keeps her sitting up higher, so she doesn't have as far to try and stand up. My other thought is that she might be forgetting how to get up off the toilet. My husband had vascular dementia, and there were many times when he would forget how to step out of his walk in shower. Sometimes it's the simplest things that they forget. I wish you the best, and ask that you please make sure you are taking care of yourself as well, as in your profile, you say about yourself that you're frustrated. It's hard no doubt caring for a loved one with mental decline, but you must also take care of yourself, and get in some outside help to assist you, if you are to continue on this journey with your wife. God bless you.
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