How do I go about finding a caregiver with whom my mom could live? She can do self-care except shower, but has some cognitive impairment.

When I worked in a chain Memory Care facility, we had a resident move in who came from a situation like you mention. He was living in an Assisted Living place, and one of the caregivers there offered to take him into HER home to live, for a much cheaper monthly rate, and care for him there. It turned into a nightmare b/c nobody was overseeing what went on in this private home, like Isthisrealyreal was saying to you. So, this elderly gentleman was sold a pig in a poke; moved into this woman's home with her family and was not thriving in any way, shape or form! He was barely fed or bathed on a regular basis, but his dementia was too far gone for him to complain or care. Yet she was getting $4K a MONTH from him! When the family was finally able to figure out what was going on in that house, they moved him out and placed him in the licensed & insured Memory Care facility I worked at.

Look into the Board & Cares in your area, although here in Colorado, they are just as expensive as regular Assisted Living facilities.

Good luck!

We have, here in my immediate neighborhood, both an Adult Group Living home AND a Memory Care facility.

Both are incredibly expensive. The Adult Group has outings and activities--they hire college students to do a one-on-one daily CG routine. The residents are quite high functioning.

The MC facility basically provides food and shelter. It's for people of advanced cases of dementia, who, honestly, wouldn't KNOW if they were playing Bingo or cards or watching old movies or playing trivia. They are so far gone in their dementia they don't usually even know their own names.

I cannot imagine how much it would cost to have your LO 'live in' with someone who was not family.

I agree with RealyReal, that for many, Board and Care is the ideal solution. They often have fewer than 8 patients, each with his or her own room, form a smaller and more homelike and comfortable community. So explore this option. Unfortunately in my own area and my own state they are becoming fewer in number, primarily due to the fact they do not reap huge monthly fees comparitively, and the large amount of work for what is often one family, but also because our state regulations are onerous and constantly changing.
I wish you good luck. This is a great solution to explore first.

Marsha, the type of facility that you want to look for is called a board and care facilty.

These are houses that have been converted to care homes. They have a smaller number of residents and they, in my area at least, do care from AL to hospice.

They are much cheaper than a regular AL facility, they have a better patient to caregiver ratio and they are more homey. The trade off is that they do not have the activities and outings that a larger, more expensive facility has.

If your mom utilizes the activities where she is currently, then one of these types of facilities would not be the best fit.

You really do need to keep her activities in mind before any change is made. You never know what will be in a year, so do what is best for her today.

Meanwhile do the leg work and find what is available in your area and what they cost. You will want several options because you never know if a bed will be available.

I would recommend that you do not put your mom in someone's house. That leaves her vulnerable to so many issues and it leaves you no recourse. You want a licensed, insured facility that is held accountable for their actions and the wellbeing of their residents.

Contact your local area on aging and they can provide you with resources to find board and care facilities.

It has been mentioned on this site there are Board and Care places. They probably will take whatever Mom gets in SS and a pension for her care. Check with the AL if they take Medicaid. In my State, if you have private paid for 2 yrs at least, u can apply for Medicaid. Your only other option, if u don't want to take Mom into ur home, is Medicaid in a NH.

Use an on-line homecare finder site. Interview private caregivers about the position with your mother. You can check all their references and do your own back round checks too. You can also negotiate the pay with them too.
My advice to you would be to hire for two caregivers. One who will stay during the week, and one who will do week-ends. You could advertise on a homecare site that you're looking for a home to take your mother in. I've been in this line of work near to 25 years and I have never heard of people looking to move their elder into the caregiver's house. I imagine that will cost a fortune.
Where does your mom live now? Is she in assisted living? If so then when her money runs out she will go on Medicaid. Sometimes Medicaid will pay for some assisted living facilities, but they normally don't and the elder gets placed in a nursing home.

I think you’ll find this solution will cost far more than a nursing home memory care. When funds run out mom can be changed from private pay to Medicaid. This happened with my mother, she remained in the same place with the same care in a nursing home. A private caregiver around the clock would be exorbitantly expensive