I want to go home is a very common request to someone with dementia. Parkinson's is often accompanied by dementia. It can mean or indicate many things. The person may be confused about where they are, they may be uncomfortable or anxious, feel uneasy or even scared. Home often represents security to them, a warm comforting place, “home sweet home”. Don't try to convince your LO that he/she is home, that could cause consternation. Have you ever been at a gathering and decided you've been there long enough and it's time to go home?
There are several ways you can address this. My wife was born and raised in a small home on a lake. Not knowing what she meant when she requested to go home, I usually started talking about that childhood home and the things she did when she lived there. I never said “you are home”. Other times I might say, “let me finish what I'm doing and then we'll take off”, or “let's wait a while, it's too cold right now”. Never take a drive to a home you think they might be referring to, it could be gone or be replaced with another structure. They wouldn't remember it anyway. What you might do is get in the car and drive around for a while and get back to where you left from saying,”we're home”. You can always use Teepa Snow's four magical words, “Tell me about it”, or tell me more.
Thank you. I regret that I did respond with “ you Are home “ a couple of times and it Was met with consternation! I like the example of wanting to go home from a party. That makes sense.
Is she in residential care? Has she changed where she’s living recently? How old is she? Does she have cognitive loss?
In general many aging people express their disorientation when moved from one place to another by asking to go home.
The most comfortable way for them to adjust to their new surroundings is to stay with what they’re saying and add a comforting and non-focused response.
”It’s really nice here, let’s stay for a while”. “It’s getting late. You can stay here tonight and we’ll talk about it some more tomorrow”. ”Dr. ———-says that you need to spend some time here. We’ll see if he thinks you’re strong enough”.
Don’t get too specific, change to a neutral subject if you can, break the conversation with a snack or something on TV.
This can get tough. The more calm, even tone you can maintain, the better the result for your LO.
Share a little more about your LO’s circumstances if you like. Welcome!
Thanks for the suggestions. Mom is almost 96, under hospice care for advanced Parkinson’s and is off-and-on confused these days. She still lives with us, but did get a hospital bed about 3 weeks ago and we also started a new caregiver 4 days a week to give me some respite. I think those two changes, the bed and new caregiver, make her think she is somewhere else.
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There are several ways you can address this. My wife was born and raised in a small home on a lake. Not knowing what she meant when she requested to go home, I usually started talking about that childhood home and the things she did when she lived there. I never said “you are home”. Other times I might say, “let me finish what I'm doing and then we'll take off”, or “let's wait a while, it's too cold right now”. Never take a drive to a home you think they might be referring to, it could be gone or be replaced with another structure. They wouldn't remember it anyway. What you might do is get in the car and drive around for a while and get back to where you left from saying,”we're home”. You can always use Teepa Snow's four magical words, “Tell me about it”, or tell me more.
Good luck.
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Has she changed where she’s living recently?
How old is she?
Does she have cognitive loss?
In general many aging people express their disorientation when moved from one place to another by asking to go home.
The most comfortable way for them to adjust to their new surroundings is to stay with what they’re saying and add a comforting and non-focused response.
”It’s really nice here, let’s stay for a while”.
“It’s getting late. You can stay here tonight and we’ll talk about it some more tomorrow”.
”Dr. ———-says that you need to spend some time here. We’ll see if he thinks you’re strong enough”.
Don’t get too specific, change to a neutral subject if you can, break the conversation with a snack or something on TV.
This can get tough. The more calm, even tone you can maintain, the better the result for your LO.
Share a little more about your LO’s circumstances if you like. Welcome!