Moving ALZ patient to different caregiver homes. Will that be a problem?

Don’t do this.

It will only confuse and agitate a person who has a hard time adjusting to where they are every day, let alone to anything new. As soon as she gets semi-familiar with one place, she’s sent off to another. She’s already frail and moving is stressful, even more so for her.

It may be the best thing for others as far as caretaking goes, but it’s the worst thing for her.

For a long time, my aunt with ALZ did fine when the disease stayed in a moderate stage. Suddenly, it began to decline and her behavior became quite dramatically erratic. She started to call 911 and cry HELP ME, from her room at the Memory Care, so her phone had to be disconnected. She then began to scratch her head in the same spot, over and over again, and created two bald spots as a result. She became catatonic in the last year of her life and required 24/7 care which was more than the MC could even handle.

Asking your MIL what 'she wants' doesn't stand to reason, since an AD sufferer isn't really able to use logic or reason anymore. My mother who's in a moderately advanced stage of dementia talks about needing to take care of 'the children' that her deceased sister told her to, when they spoke on the phone yesterday, so that's where SHE is at right now. The thought of moving her back & forth between 2 homes is not something I'd even consider, personally. Continuity & consistency is what keeps her as balanced as possible these days, truthfully.

You have to expect a decline with your MIL, it goes with the territory, unfortunately. She can become totally incontinent, wheelchair or bedbound, and delusional in the course of that decline. Your best bet is to have a Plan B on the back burner which is Memory Care placement or even Skilled Nursing, depending on her level of decline, should the need arise. Just be prepared, is my point.

You can always TRY moving her back & forth to see how it goes, but I would prepare myself for the worst if I were you.

Here is a link to a chart of AD stages that's quite comprehensive for you to refer to:

https://www.dementiacarecentral.com/aboutdementia/facts/stages/

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.

Change is difficult, as others have said. Keep in mind that each move will be new to her, so imagine what it would be like to move to a new home every few months. Add in the infirmities of old age, and it doesn't make for a good situation. She may adapt well enough the first couple of times, but eventually it'll get harder and harder for her.

People suffering from a Dementia do much better with familiarity. Thats why some caregivers choose to move in with a LO suffering from a Dementia than having that person move in with them, familiarity.

I did move Mom in with me, 20 months later an AL and 8 months later a NH. She adjusted well to all. I feel I was lucky. Change can cause further decline. Behaviour problems. As the desease progresses, she now does not recognize anyone and she is among strangers. You can try, see how it works. It may end up being better to place her in an AL near family eventually, if she can afford it.

It can be difficult going to a new place.
If she adjusts this time that is great but she may not the next time.
If a permanent residence is not possible at either place it might be time to look at placing her in Memory Care where she will be able to remain in 1 location.

I know that people with any kind of mental decline, or brain damage, like when things in their world are kept pretty routine, and consistent. They don't typically respond well when their routine is disrupted in any way, so that would of course be a concern to me. Your MIL will just get used to one routine and house, and then have to adjust to another routine and house, a few months later. It may just be too much for her. My husband who had a massive stroke at the age of 48, and later developed vascular dementia, absolutely hated when his routine had to be disrupted for anything. Dr's appt's, family coming to visit,(and God forbid they stayed overnight), having to be in the hospital for any length of time, just to name a few, really sent him over the edge. So I guess I would think long and hard about this, as I know you want to do what's best for her. I wish you the best.

Is it possibly to discuss this with Mom and both siblings present. Tell her why it works for you, and ask what would help make it work for HER? I myself would love it. She might love the idea of being with both children alternatively. You know your Mom's staging and her reactions to change better than we do. And I would guess that this is certainly worth a "try". Why not put it forth as an idea to try. The assess, after say three months, how well it is working.