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LAnn123 Asked February 2021

Should I take my father home for hospice care?

My father has end stage cirrhosis and is so weak from being in the hospital for a month he hasn’t been able to go home. He was at hospital, then rehab, then he filled up with fluid and became very confused, back to hospital. Etc. he has been sent to hospital 3x and rehab twice. He can dress or use the bathroom himself-he needs to be cleaned up daily. Maybe I’m a terrible daughter but I don’t think I can do that. He’s very big and I’m positive I could not support him if he were to fall. Today he had fluids drawn off for the second time. He’s not going to get better or be able to live alone-we know this. He is ready to talk about palliative care and I’d already reached out to the hospital about this. Tomorrow my dad and me and the palliative care person will discuss options. I’m an only child and have to make all of the arrangements with and for him. I think hospice is going to be the next step. I don’t know who to contact or when. If the waiting list is long he may not make it. Bringing him home to his house to be comfortable is tempting and I would come stay with him for as long as I could (I live in another state)
but, like I said, I don’t think I could give him the kind of care he needs day to day. Is there a hospice option where caregivers come to the patient’s house?
feeling overwhelmed.

MJ1929 Feb 2021
If you do bring him home, you certainly gan hire full- or part-time caregivers to help as needed. I brought in help when my dad was on hospice care and I was also taking care of my mother.

Also, keep in mind that if Dad falls, just call 911, and the fire department will come pick him up again. My dad was too weak to get back to bed after going to the bathroom, so I called 911, the FD guys came out in the middle of the night, plopped him back in bed, and cheerily went on their way. They never even woke up my mother.

Don't ever worry about calling 911.

NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2021
I am so sorry that your dad is suffering. It’s hard to watch our loved ones struggle.

My brother died from liver disease.

He was in an ‘end of life’ hospice facility.

He received excellent care. He was kept comfortable.

The nurses were angels.

The social worker was there for him and our entire family.

The hospice chaplain was very comforting to all of us. She was amazing.

Is it possible that he could go to a hospice facility?

Inquire with the hospital social worker to see if you live near a hospice facility and if they have space available for him?

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Isthisrealyreal Feb 2021
LAnn, I am sorry that you are losing your dad. May God give you strength and wisdom during this difficult time.

Ask the hospital if they have a hospice wing and what is required for him to be eligible for admission.

Ask the palliative rep if they do daily baths. I would also ask about private caregivers that can come in and do the daily cleanup and not have an hourly minimum.

Make them put the daily care, if offered, in writing. Unfortunately some of them will promise the moon and deliver a moon pie.

Remember that you can interview multiple hospice providers and you can fire them if they don't provide great, compassionate service or if they are not providing what you were promised. Hence making sure that the contract specifies exactly what you will be getting.

Great big warm hug! This is so difficult but, you can do this.
LAnn123 Feb 2021
Thank you.
funkygrandma59 Feb 2021
In home hospice only sends a nurse out once a week to start, to check the patient's vitals, and an aide or 2 will come out a couple times a week to bathe him. So in all reality, 99.9% of his care would still fall on you or his hired help. You will have the option of putting him in a hospice facility, and if they feel his death is coming usually within the week, it will be covered under your dad's Medicare. If he goes on longer, then he or you will have to pay out of pocket for him to stay there, and I can tell you that it's rather expensive to go that route, as insurance doesn't cover it, so just be aware of that. Your best bet might be to have him placed in a care facility, where hospice still will come and do their weekly duties, but then you will also have trained staff to do the rest. The hospital social worker should be able to assist you with all your choices. I wish you the very best, during this very trying time. God bless you.
LAnn123 Feb 2021
Thank you.
AlvaDeer Feb 2021
Death from cirrhosis is very difficult with many of the issues already mentioned by you. Extreme confusion, great difficulty with bowels, and etc. I would suggest in facility hospice care for your Dad, and that is my opinion as retired RN. Hospice in these times is not there continuously; they only send care to do bathing, a few other things. There would be minimal support for any 24/7 caregiver. With confusion being a given there would be the inability to control almost any situation, in all likelihood.
LAnn123 Feb 2021
Thank you for your response. I appreciate it so much.

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