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Jenny4LO Asked February 2021

Mom on hospice for 3.5 weeks, now she’s talking about eating and getting up her strength to come home?

My mom is only 63, but has MS, had covid in March & has been wheelchair bounce since coming home in June. She suffered an MI on Jan 3 and was intubated in the hospital. She asked us to stop treatment once she was off and has been on hospice for 3.5 weeks. She wasn’t really talking, mostly sleeping for the first 1.5 weeks. The last week or so she has had moments where she is more alert and seemingly like her self, but then sleeping right after. She is on morphine & Ativan. Today she made comments to me like “oh I guess I’m at ________hospice until I can go home” and “I’ve got to save a wheelchair ride for A (my son)” she also thought it was fall and that she missed Halloween.


My heart is breaking bc if she wants to fight now and come home I want to do everything I can to help her do that! But I’m also wondering if it’s the meds/her starting to deteriorate?


Do loved ones talk like they are coming home or about the future when they are getting closer to passing?

Daughterof1930 Feb 2021
While my dad was on home hospice he definitely had times of talking about getting better, getting rid of his rollator because he’d start walking better, and looking forward to events and holidays. Any person can want to have hope and goals, even knowing fully the reality of their situation. Let your hospice nurses guide you on what they’re seeing, my dad’s were invaluable in helping us with the emotional tug of war

funkygrandma59 Feb 2021
She might actually be getting better, and will get to come home. My husband went into a hospice facility the first time after I was told he only had 2 days left to live, after he had aspiration pneumonia, and ended up with sepsis and septic shock. Well after a week, he was improving and they sent him home under their care. About a year later, he went back in the hospice facility to try and get his pain under control, as by that time he was on a pain pump, and they felt they could better monitor things there. After about a week there, the Dr told me that my husband would not be coming back home, and that he was once again dying. Well, when I told my husband what the Dr said, he said nope, take me home, which I did, and he lived for almost another year after that. My husband had been under hospice care for 22 months when he died this past Sept. So perhaps you might want to ask the hospice Dr to try weaning her off her medications to see how she does,(as both morphine and Ativan will make her very sleepy) and take it from there, because people do leave hospice facilities alive on occasion, as my husband was proof of. They told me it happens all the time. Your mom could still be under their care whether at her home or in a facility.

Now all that being said, there's also such a thing called rallying, where the person kind of has one last hurrah before they leave this world. They are usually more alert and want to eat and drink again. This however doesn't usually last long. I would certainly talk to the hospice staff, and see what their thoughts are, but honestly because I have been there done that, I really believe it's not your mom's time yet, and she's letting you know that. It's a crazy rollercoaster you're on right now, I know, but I would listen to your mom if I were you. Praying for wisdom and discernment for all involved. God bless you.

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