Mom (73) is blind and does not walk without help. She needs 24/7 access to care for med management, meals, and personal care. Advice?

Right now she has someone with her. That will be unlikely very shortly. She can see vaguely and I think once she gets used to her surroundings she will be ok. Mom contracted hystoplasmosis in her 50's while she was still an RN. It has degenerated over the years. I do believe she is capable of much more. This will definitely be the topic of our conversation. Thanks everyone.

You have done the hardest part already which is recognizing that you can't provide her the care she needs. The next steps are also hard but they will lead to a more enjoyable life for both your mother and your family. The counseling idea is spot on - both for her and for you - because this will be a change for both of you. There will be many times when you'll backtrack and decide that somehow she'll be able to live with you. That is magical thinking.

The good part is that once I finally got my dad to accept assisted living I could actually enjoy visiting him and having him to my house for a breakfast or dinner because all of my interactions with him were no longer work and caregiving. Find some nearby options for assisted living and tour them yourself. Tell them about her blindness and ask how they would deal with it. It is surprisingly uncommon for their residents to be blind. My dad is legally blind but he has enough vision to get around and see vague shapes so he doesn't need assistance getting around once he is familiar with the layout but he can't read menus, notices, newsletters or see faces, etc. That's been one of my issues is that when they put a notice on his door he has no idea what it says. The dining room staff are lovely to him and always read him the menu and remember his favorite foods so they point them out to him. You also say that she doesn't walk without help so does that mean she uses a walker/rollator or is she unable to even get out of a chair and stand? That will be a very different level of assistance.

There will be no easy way to do this and no perfect solution but keep your eye on the prize which is that you are able to get your life back and enjoy your visits with your mom and that she is able to establish herself in a new situation that will better meet her needs for the long term.

Are all her financial needs seen to; are you her DPOA for when you need to step in. What are her assets. Have you explored Assisted Living Facilities nearby? Who is caring for her now?
Beatty, who often replies here, has an expression "There will be no solutions as long as you are all the solutions". Speaks for itself. You will need to sit with your Mother and have the honest talk about what she is capable of. I don't know what illnesses she has but 73 is young to need care. You will need to honestly evaluate with her her assets and her plans for her future.
If you plan to bring her into your home you are looking at perhaps 25 years of caring for her. So ultimately my advice would be twofold.
Honest discussion about what you can do for her now and future, and what you cannot.
Honest discussion about her paperwork, her plans for advanced health care directives, her wills, POA, and all other documents. A discussion of her assets, what they are, who she wishes to manage them. About her plans for where to live.

I take it she's living with you now? This sounds like way too much when you are working and spending time with your grandkids. If you both work how is her not being able to be left alone working out?

I'm sure she's depressed. Is there anything she could be doing to help herself? Her body has failed her? But is she doing anything to fight it or just letting it happen?

Is her blindness new? Did she learn how to use a cane or otherwise navigate independently?

Seems awfully young to just be apparently throwing in the towel.

But, for you, you need to put you, hubby, kids, grandkids first. There is something left for your mom but it does not mean having her live in your house. Sounds like she needs way more care than you can possibly provide.

Duplicate

I think you said it all. Counselling - to help with this life stage. Support.for.these big life changes. Help for herto accept her situation.

You are wise to realise what is her life & what is hers. Wise to accept you cannot fix everything for her.

Be her loving daughter that is with her on this new stage. Her advocate. But not her sole caregiver. Bring the Grandkidss, bring the cheer.

You got this!