Will a nursing home generally call when a LO is going to pass shortly?

The doctor on call and the nurses informed us when my mother was dying. The process was three weeks long and the exact timing of when it would happen couldn’t be known. She passed quietly one morning after a heavy sleep during the three weeks. We were immediately called. I do hope you’ll call the nursing home, ask what they’re seeing and what the procedure is for informing families

When our mother died this past April at age 95, we had no warning and in fact had talked with her earlier that day. We simply received a call in the evening that she was found dead a few minutes earlier.

When our father was dying 6 years earlier at age 90, both my sister and I were called, although neither of us made it to the nursing home on time. The day before, I was returning from a business trip and stopped at the nursing home on my way back from the airport, and there was a hospice nurse in the room. (At that point I didn't really even know what hospice was or that my father was "on hospice" as my sister was POA and had clinical medical experience, so the term didn't really mean much to me.) The nurse took his blood pressure while I was there (it was rather low) and she said his skin was getting grayish (although the lighting was poor enough that I couldn't tell the difference), and he was either asleep or comatose. I went home, and the next afternoon we received the call. We obviously knew the end was approaching although at least I had no idea when it would be.

There is no likelihood that the Nursing Home will know when she, at 92, does go. There is usually little warning unless someone is dying of a progressive disease and in care of Hospice. They may or may not notice a collapse prior to collapse and death. This is a question to discuss with the facility administration.

Instead of seeking opinions on a forum I want to encourage you to ask someone at the nursing home these questions, they've been through it all before and will be able to address all your concerns.

Pegshere, is your Mom-in-law on Hospice? If yes, usually it is the visiting Hospice Nurse who will give the family a time line. My Mom was in a nursing home and Hospice said within 48 hours. I was with Mom when she passed a few years ago.

The following year my Dad was in Assisted Living and Hospice said within the next couple of days. Dad's regular caregiver was with him when he passed as my Dad told me to go home, apparently he didn't want me to see him pass. The caregiver called me when Dad died, and I went over to his assisted living complex.

In both cases, Hospice also called the funeral home.

Of course they would.

You should be checking with them to get updates on her condition at least weekly anyway. The fact that she can't see or hear doesn't mean you shouldn't have eyes on her regularly.

See if they'll do a short FaceTime with you so you can see her, or at the very least ask them to text you pictures periodically.

They should, people's lower limbs usually turn purplish before shortly before death and they have other signs that show death is near.

They should, as long as they are aware that she’s at the end of life. The nursing home called my MIL when her mother was at the EOL and expected the pass that day. With my FIL, he wasn’t actively dying as far as anyone knew so we didn’t get a phone call until after he had died.

I am my uncle’s POA. He has no wife or children. He is 89 and has an inoperable, brain tumor. His nursing home calls me regularly or if things change. They have allowed me short visits since before Christmas. I stop by and talk to the nurses and take them treats regularly.

I would think they would if you are POA. Many facilities will allow visits when death is near. Ask the facility. Do you call regularly to check on her?