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Dindydan Asked February 2021

Why does my 77yr husband walk slow? Is it due to his eyesight or operations he had?

He had whipples operation - pancreatric cancer removed tumour. He then had two hernias in stomach repaired. Can't see out of right eye - detached retina operation unsuccessful.Then he had bowel cancer in 2020 removed cancerous tumour. He had a colostomy operation and has a stoma bag. He says he feels tired and does sleep a lot, when watching TV, before going to bed but gets up early to do stoma bag. He has enlarged protate and suffers e.d. I do support him. He does sing but not good and made up songs. He does get fed up with whats wrong with him. He feels down when I have to mow lawn, now I drive car all time. He can only sleep on his back and makes noises when he sleeps. The coronavirus is getting on our nerves like everybody else. He dislikes being disabled and used to do jobs around the house I am 70yr fairly fit but get tired and wish I could magic him better. I cant bear for him to be ill.

Geaton777 Feb 2021
Has his doctor given him a prognosis? I am hoping you are already aware that pancreatic cancer (PC) has a very low survival rate (5%). I'm so sorry if this is new news to you but if it is, it is inexplicable why his doctors would not have told you. Both my husband's grandmother and father had PC and both had the whipple procedure, one at the Mayo clinic. It extended their lives but neither lived longer than 2 years after diagnosis, which is considered "long" for someone with stage 4 PC. Again, I'm so sorry if you have not heard this from your medical team -- please forgive me for being too blunt with this information -- I just feel it is urgent that you need to know so that you can make "better" decisions for you both.

Having walked with 2 loved ones on this same journey I recommend you please become as fully informed of his care options as possible (like for pain, for hospice, etc.) Here is a good resource for PC families:

https://www.pancan.org/facing-pancreatic-cancer/patient-services/?s_src=patient+services_google_adwords&s_subsrc=patient+services_google_adwords_cpc_general+public&gclid=Cj0KCQiA962BBhCzARIsAIpWEL2ndCwciEn3oeMyesl8PIQF5WwYeOsARNt0Y_EPu2_GJLnV0WRqLUcaAhFKEALw_wcB

As to your wondering why your husband is moving so slowly, it seems his body has gone through so much lately. The Whipple alone is major surgery. He is acting exhausted because he is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I'm sure you are, too. So please look for as much outside help for yourself as possible. Ask your family, neighbors, friends, place of faith, when you need help. The average person would be glad you asked them. Another good resource is Nextdoor.com. This is a forum of your actual neighbors and is an efficient way to request help. Do things you love and cherish together as much as possible. I will pray for your situation and for peace in your hearts.

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