My mother stays in the bed all the time unless she goes to the store and she keeps saying she does not feel good. Advice?

As others have noted your mom does seem to have depression but before assuming a diagnosis she really needs to go to a doctor for a thorough check-up. She could be having other physical illnesses that may make her seem like she is depressed, or she may be overdosing on medication (secretly) if she is on anything. She is only 67 and too young for "normal" cognitive decline from aging, but she could also have early onset ALZ. She needs an exam by a wise doctor. If you can accompany her and get her to assign you as her medical representative on the HIPAA form, then you can actually discuss her situation legally with her doctor.

That being said, if it is depression -- I 100% agree with the others who have opined that you need to get out and live your best life right now. You can't have her recovery for her, she needs to want it. And her husband should really be the one helping her through it. I wish you all the best and peace in your heart that it is ok to move out and move on.

Are you venting your frustration with your mom onto your stepdad? I’m sure he’s every bit as frustrated as you are. Your mother is mired in depression, it’s real and difficult, but also won’t improve without action on her part. Her doctors need to know the reality of how she’s living. Doctors can’t talk to you due to privacy laws, but you can certainly communicate your concerns to them, by letter if needed. But all the help in world won’t help at all if your mother can’t see the need for change and act on it. If this is a long term issue, it may likely continue far into the future. Consider this and take care of yourself first. Don’t let the situation with her mess up your life, it won’t help her and will definitely drag you down

Sleeping all the time, staying in bed most of the day, these are symptoms of depression. Is your mom on any medication? Is she in therapy? When was the last time she had a complete physical? Some vitamin deficiencies can exacerbate depression, or lead to symptoms that mimic depression.

However, in answer to your question of what you can do? Unfortunately, until your mom decides she is tired of living this way and wants help, there's not much you can make her do. But what you CAN do is live your own life. As hard as it may be to acknowledge, you are allowing your mother's depression to drag you down as well; you say your mom is only 67 years old; she could easily live another 20 years. Are you willing to allow her health problems to drag you down for that long?

You might *try* and have a conversation with her and suggest she get a complete physical; if you can come along into the doctor's office with her and discuss her not getting out of bed, then her doctor might be able to talk her into some sort of medication/therapy to combat the depression. But you can't force her to go, and you really, really need to start focusing on your life, your health and your future. That might mean taking a big step back from all of this, including (if you're still living with her) moving out to your own place.

I know it sounds harsh; You have my sympathy that you have to go through this.