My mom came to live with me at 90 years. Now 100, she is still here. During that time I had cancer. I now have diabetes as well. I want her in assisted living. I’m tired. It’s not fair to me to have to spend the rest of my life taking care of her. There are no siblings to help. She brags to everyone how great her health is. Meanwhile my body is dying. I would feel awful forcing her to move, I wish she would suggest it. It’s just too much just for me. I’m depressed, irritated, in pain. And she thinks everything is great. What should I do?
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My mother has lived in AL since 2014 since living with me was never an option, and I don't feel guilty about it for one iota of one minute. ALFs are like nice hotels with luxury living suites or apartments. 3 hot meals a day, activities and lots of others to canoodle with. In fact, my distant uncle George just turned 100 and he lives in the same AL my mother does (she's in the Memory Care bldg nowadays) and he likes it just fine. Plays cards with the menfolk and has a grand time.
Nothing is forever so your mom should be grateful she's had 10 years of hospitality from you.
All the best.
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1) she accepts and pays for in-home care from a reputable agency (and any other services, like cleaning, driving her to appointments, etc that take a burden from you).
2) she moves into a care community, and you will help her pick a nice one.
There is no 3rd option. Tell her what you've told us. See where it goes from there. I wish you all the best as you work towards improving your situation.