Are you asking how they can discharge him when he's unconscious and not eating or drinking? Or are you asking about the process of hospice and how to care for him at home? Hospice isn't going to provide 24 hour care, they will likely come out several times per week to bath him and do body cares, the rest is on you and family.
I am so sorry about your dad. I know this is an incredibly hard time. I agree with JoAnn, that your father's body is preparing to pass.
While I know this is hard, you and your family are also endeavoring on the sacred duty of escorting your father on his final journey.
Once he's settled in the home, keep the room quiet or play soft music. Surround him with photos of loved ones still here or have passed on. Consider placing his favorite objects around him.
Talk with him. Tell him everything you want him to know. Acknowledge what you've learned from him and that you and your family will carry on and take care of each other. Encourage family members to do the same. If you have pets, allow them on the bed. If inclined, say prayers aloud for him. Contact his pastor or priest for assistance.
On the technical side, if he has End of Life paperwork, like what were his wishes for his body or funeral or burial, read through them. Ensure you know where his Will or living trust are. Lean on hospice. They're there for you and your family too.
In my mom's case, I was her live-in caregiver in her home. While she was definitely sinking in body, she could still move around and had some good days. One day after a rousing card game with me and my two sisters, I put her to bed that evening and she never woke up. She passed two and half days later.
I focused on technical things, like using an oximeter. That told me a lot about the condition of her body, her heart fading, oxygen level. Frankly, I found it fascinating and it gave me a distraction from the emotional impact and assured me of when she passed. Hours before she passed I notified hospice that her passing was imminent.
Sounds like Dad is coming to the end of his life. His body is shutting down, so food and drink would do more harm than good.
My Mom stopped getting out of bed. She closed her eyes and never opened them again. She was responsive because she pulled her arm away when the Nurse tried to take her B/P. Not being able to swallow was the first sign of her body shutting down. Hospice was called in. From the time she wouldn't get out of bed to her passing was 2 weeks.
Hospice will provide an aide to bathe him about 2 or 3x a week. Same with the Nurse, she will come about 2 or 3x a week but should be available 24/7 by phone. She is the first person you call when he passes. She will pronounce him, clean him up and should call the funeral director. For now, its just a waiting game. Not much you can do but be there for him.
I suggest that you preplan the funeral. I had to do this when Mom was put on Medicaid to help spend down her money. One thing I didn't have to do. Just had to order flowers and set up a luncheon.
May I ask about your interview with hospice, and what you expect. It sounds like this is truly end of life care. In that case you can expect that you will be given meds to decrease secretions, prevent air hunger or pain, keep your Dad comfortable and hopefully below the level of dreams. Quite honestly, at this point, these questions should be directed to your hospice care team now. Do make a list of questions the family may have about what to expect in your Dad's individual and unique case.
Truthfully I don't remember a lot about the interview except feeling relief that someone with experience in this process would be available. Today the nurse came out and I'm concerned again. It sounds as though there is SO much to learn in a short period of time with so much at stake. I'm back to being overwhelmed. My family is ALL very involved so I'm blessed. I am still petrified that he won't be able to eat or drink for days, even though the nurse says not to worry.
Is he going back to a facility or to your home? If he's been unconscious for a few days, I would look into having him brought to the hospice home instead, where you will be able to spend time with him(as hospice homes are allowing 2 people per day to visit)and they would be responsible for his care and comfort.
When my husband left the hospital(under hospice care) after having aspiration pneumonia, sepsis and septic shock, and I was told he only had a few days left to live, I had him brought to our local hospice home, as everything was happening so fast, I didn't really have much time to think about it. I just knew that I wanted him to be comfortable if he was dying. Well, long story short, after about a week in their facility, my husband started making a come back, and I was told that he could no longer stay there,(unless I wanted to pay out of my pocket for him to) as they didn't think he was dying any time soon. So I had him brought back home(under hospice care)where he lived another 22 months, completely bedridden in our living room.
If he's coming to your home, hospice will have a nurse come out once a week(more if needed)to check his vitals, and an aide to come bathe your dad a couple times a week. they will also supply any needed equipment(hospital bed, oxygen, etc.)along with any medications, and supplies needed for his care, all covered 100% under his Medicaid. Just know that if he is having in home hospice care, that 99.9% of his care will still fall on you or someone else in the family. If he's returning to a care facility, the care will be the same. If I were you, I would see if he can't go directly to the hospice home. Wishing you peace and comfort during this trying time, and remember that hearing is the last sense to go, so even though your dad is unconscious, he can still hear you. God bless you.
He's coming to the house which we're desperately wanted at the time. The hospital only allowed one person a day to visit and it always had to be a family member that could talk with the doctors. Mom isn't able to do that because of hearing impairment. I understand things are sure to change. I'm just trying to anticipate how...
I remember being astounded, ASTOUNDED that I could refuse discharge for my mom if I thought that she couldn't manage on her own or have adequate care at home.
6 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
While I know this is hard, you and your family are also endeavoring on the sacred duty of escorting your father on his final journey.
Once he's settled in the home, keep the room quiet or play soft music. Surround him with photos of loved ones still here or have passed on. Consider placing his favorite objects around him.
Talk with him. Tell him everything you want him to know. Acknowledge what you've learned from him and that you and your family will carry on and take care of each other. Encourage family members to do the same. If you have pets, allow them on the bed. If inclined, say prayers aloud for him. Contact his pastor or priest for assistance.
On the technical side, if he has End of Life paperwork, like what were his wishes for his body or funeral or burial, read through them. Ensure you know where his Will or living trust are. Lean on hospice. They're there for you and your family too.
In my mom's case, I was her live-in caregiver in her home. While she was definitely sinking in body, she could still move around and had some good days. One day after a rousing card game with me and my two sisters, I put her to bed that evening and she never woke up. She passed two and half days later.
I focused on technical things, like using an oximeter. That told me a lot about the condition of her body, her heart fading, oxygen level. Frankly, I found it fascinating and it gave me a distraction from the emotional impact and assured me of when she passed. Hours before she passed I notified hospice that her passing was imminent.
I am so sorry, JustDaughter.
ADVERTISEMENT
My Mom stopped getting out of bed. She closed her eyes and never opened them again. She was responsive because she pulled her arm away when the Nurse tried to take her B/P. Not being able to swallow was the first sign of her body shutting down. Hospice was called in. From the time she wouldn't get out of bed to her passing was 2 weeks.
Hospice will provide an aide to bathe him about 2 or 3x a week. Same with the Nurse, she will come about 2 or 3x a week but should be available 24/7 by phone. She is the first person you call when he passes. She will pronounce him, clean him up and should call the funeral director. For now, its just a waiting game. Not much you can do but be there for him.
I suggest that you preplan the funeral. I had to do this when Mom was put on Medicaid to help spend down her money. One thing I didn't have to do. Just had to order flowers and set up a luncheon.
So sorry you are going thru this.
When my husband left the hospital(under hospice care) after having aspiration pneumonia, sepsis and septic shock, and I was told he only had a few days left to live, I had him brought to our local hospice home, as everything was happening so fast, I didn't really have much time to think about it. I just knew that I wanted him to be comfortable if he was dying. Well, long story short, after about a week in their facility, my husband started making a come back, and I was told that he could no longer stay there,(unless I wanted to pay out of my pocket for him to) as they didn't think he was dying any time soon. So I had him brought back home(under hospice care)where he lived another 22 months, completely bedridden in our living room.
If he's coming to your home, hospice will have a nurse come out once a week(more if needed)to check his vitals, and an aide to come bathe your dad a couple times a week. they will also supply any needed equipment(hospital bed, oxygen, etc.)along with any medications, and supplies needed for his care, all covered 100% under his Medicaid. Just know that if he is having in home hospice care, that 99.9% of his care will still fall on you or someone else in the family. If he's returning to a care facility, the care will be the same. If I were you, I would see if he can't go directly to the hospice home. Wishing you peace and comfort during this trying time, and remember that hearing is the last sense to go, so even though your dad is unconscious, he can still hear you. God bless you.
Who is signing for him?
Do you agree with this discharge plan?
I remember being astounded, ASTOUNDED that I could refuse discharge for my mom if I thought that she couldn't manage on her own or have adequate care at home.