HI everyone,
I am medically disabled with fibromyalgia and an autoimmune disease. My dad is a heart patient.
My mom fell and broke her hip, and is going to be transferred to a rehab facility for 2 weeks, as she is not doing well enough to come home.
My biggest source of exhaustion (besides being disabled myself) is that mom doesn't handle pain well and is very codependent on my dad. She's very submissive and just doesn't seem to have the mental strength to get through this. She has a tendency to act childlike and doesn't have the confidence to fight through life's hardships.
I just need words of encouragement. My two older brothers are estranged from us, so all of the worry, stress, concern and planning falls on myself and my dad.
Any advice you have for how to cope would really help.
Tthanks. 🤗
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I had a full hip replacement in 2017 and was back to work in 3 weeks. The pain was minimal, all things considered. My father was 91 when he fell and broke his hip, but he did not have a full hip replacement; it was repaired with pins & screws instead. He did okay in rehab but wound up going to Assisted Living with my mom afterward b/c independent living was no longer viable for him.
Your mother will either pull up her bootstraps and cooperate with the PTs and OTs in rehab or she won't. You have no control over her behavior. Now may be a good time to show her a bit of tough love (both you AND your dad) and let her know that you won't be babying her when she does get home; that you expect her to regain her strength and get back to her old self during her stay in rehab.
My mother is 94 and has always been coddled her whole life, which has been a big mistake, in reality. She's not a child and being treated like one and being allowed to act like one didn't help her thru life one little bit. Both you and your dad can help your mom to be stronger now and to realize she has it in her to get well and keep her chin UP. She's an adult and it's expected of her to act like one now!
You can get through this, and all will be will. Have faith and take things one step at a time, one day at a time. GOOD LUCK!