I've been caring for my mother at-home since she had a stroke in 2017. I have been getting compensated $1000 monthly and live in my mother's home. She has suffered from visual problems and depression since the stroke. Recently, she's had very scary heart problems that led to her getting surgery for a pacemaker/ICD. This is a 24/7 job -meaning I am required to stay over night. This means I do not have any freedom to sleep at my partner's home. This has been hard and yet, my sisters insists that my mother cannot afford to pay me every month and that she cannot also pay for my room and board. I think she is angry that I am getting "free rent and utilities" as she puts it. However, as the job requires that I be present here 24/7 I am not exactly living in my own home with the freedom to come and go as I please. I'm also responsible for keeping my mom's home clean and free of clutter, quiet and warm.
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Let the family look into hiring caregivers from an Agency and they will be in for major, and I main MAJOR sticker shock. My Dad was paying $20,000 a month for 168 hour of care each week. And the 3rd shift was required to be awake for his/her entire shift.
My Dad decided to move into senior living where it was costing him $5k per month for a very nice apartment. He loved being around people of his own age group :) But I do realize not everyone can budget for this cost.
Maybe your Mom could afford this, if she owns her own home and has equity in her house. Oh one question, why were you chosen to be Mom's only caregiver? And what would your sisters do if you could no longer care for Mom?
Rent and utilities may be applicable towards the minimum wage, perhaps for 7.5 hours worth per week. So that may get you to four hours a day. https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/direct-care/credit-wages/faq
It is generally accepted that a caregiver that lives in and prepares meals can eat without charge. If you are on an expensive special diet there may be room for negotiation.
So, if Mom doesn't need that much hands on care and the housekeeping doesn't take much time, you may want do this as labor of love, but you are not being fully compensated. If you can, teach dance classes on Zoom for a few hours a day while being in the house if she needs you. If that isn't allowed or isn't feasible because she needs too much direct care, you need to be paid more.
Please insist on being paid above board with SS, Medicare, and income tax withholding.
You should also have them arrange to get someone in to cover one day a week, or maybe two days every other week. 24/7 is not sustainable for one person. Hopefully another sister can volunteer. An employee will probably get paid more for their one day than you do for the rest of the week.
If Mom can't afford to live in her home and pay for her care, she is probably headed towards Medicaid. You need to be prepared for what comes next for you when she moves to a facility or passes on. Where will you live and how long will it take you to find a job that pays full time?
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