How do we make him see that he can't and won't get better without help?
His friend has multiple sclerosis and uses drugs and we can't help him. Our house is a 2 story old house with 1 bathroom upstairs. He can't hardly walk and can't use the stairs.
MS is a progressive desease he will eventually need more and more help that I don't think you want to do. Your BF needs to realize that with his illness he can't do for his friend. And I know a women who died young. My cousin was formally diagnosed with it at 50 but had symptoms before that. She passed at 70 from respiratory failure.
I don't think you want to care for 2 men. If friend is getting Social Security disability, then he is probably getting Medicaid. He may be able to get an aide a few hours a day. If that will leave you caring for him the remainder of the time, he may need to be placed in a NH with Medicaid covering his care. He really can't expect his friend and you to care for him the rest of his life. You may want to check out if your State Medicaid covers Assisted Livings. Some do. Some if you pay privately for at least 2 years.
Sounds like a tough situation. He's awfully young to be at the end stages of MS. Or maybe that's "normal"? Anyhow having someone that is not mobile living with you is definitely a challenge. Not sure how you handle bathroom issues if he can't use the stairs. I don't need to gory details but that seems like a pretty impossible situation in and of itself.
I'm not sure I understand your question. With MS, how can he get better, with or without help? Maybe his life could be improved?
Is he actively dying and hospice is on the horizon or can the end stage last a long time? He probably needs more help than you and your boyfriend can give him. Look into getting him services to care for him and/or placement somewhere that can properly care for him.
I wouldn't think that is up to you.to make him understand. As time goes on he will adjust to the changes. I don't think you would want him to think it is a hopeless situation. Then things would certainly become even more difficult.
Until you figure out whether or not you still want this person to continue to live with you, you might want to start with having him purchase a bedside commode that he can keep on the lower level of your house, so he won't have to try and climb the stairs to use the bathroom. I can only guess that the illegal drugs he's using(per your profile) doesn't help his situation either. Are you wanting him out of your house, or are you just wanting him to get more help while living with you? If he is on Medicaid, I know that they will pay for so many hours per week(varies per state)for in home help, and if you want him out, perhaps a call to Adult Protective Services would help, as they could come in and asses the situation, and offer suggestions. You're in a tough spot for sure. Good luck in getting this all figured out.
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I don't think you want to care for 2 men. If friend is getting Social Security disability, then he is probably getting Medicaid. He may be able to get an aide a few hours a day. If that will leave you caring for him the remainder of the time, he may need to be placed in a NH with Medicaid covering his care. He really can't expect his friend and you to care for him the rest of his life. You may want to check out if your State Medicaid covers Assisted Livings. Some do. Some if you pay privately for at least 2 years.
I'm not sure I understand your question. With MS, how can he get better, with or without help? Maybe his life could be improved?
Is he actively dying and hospice is on the horizon or can the end stage last a long time? He probably needs more help than you and your boyfriend can give him. Look into getting him services to care for him and/or placement somewhere that can properly care for him.
Good luck.
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Are you wanting him out of your house, or are you just wanting him to get more help while living with you? If he is on Medicaid, I know that they will pay for so many hours per week(varies per state)for in home help, and if you want him out, perhaps a call to Adult Protective Services would help, as they could come in and asses the situation, and offer suggestions. You're in a tough spot for sure. Good luck in getting this all figured out.