My mom was placed in a nursing facility in October 2020. She has Alzheimer’s/Vascular dementia and other comorbidities such as Insulin dependent diabetes, CVA,Covid in January, CAD, etc.
After 3 months there where she steadily declined and no visitation, I decided to take her home. She was ambulatory when she was admitted to there, and when I took her home she could barely walk with 2 person assist and stage 2 sacral sores. One week after arriving with me she got Covid and was hospitalized for one week. She recovered but was even more debilitated and came home with a deep tissue wound to right heel. She came home with Covid from nursing home I believe, since I never had it and I’m the only one taking care of her. Anyway, mom was getting home PT with no improvement and the 24/7 care was taking a great toll on me and my marriage was taking a direct hit. So I had her placed again and the only available open bed was the same place. So there she has been for last 3 weeks and mom has since lost 10 pounds, is unable to communicate (she was able to before), PT notified me that she shows no potential to improve and is bed bound/chair bound. Mom is done. She told me that... she wants to be at peace.
Mom has been on many different units in this facility in the short time that she has been there. They can’t see the huge decline in her but I can. Weight loss... 130lbs in October and now barely 100 lbs. pressure sores.... loss of language skills... TOTAL assist in ALL ADL’s. I have mentioned hospice to staff and they say she’s not ready.
She's more than ready! I don’t want them to notify me a few days before she passes that she qualifies for hospice. My mom is dying and I can’t be with her due to Covid restrictions. I’ve been denied compassionate care visits from the beginning. I’m all cried out now. How do I convince them my mom needs hospice? The nursing home has a hospice / palliative care unit.
Or shall I take her out and bring her to one.
It’s just so unbearable not to be able to spend precious time with my mom while she’s still here.
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I set up an interview, and 2 representatives came to meet with me. They were more honest than any of the commercial hospice companies, and answered all my questions.
When my father was discharged from the hospital, the plan was to rehab first, but consider hospice as an alternative. When that time arrived, he didn't even have to be transferred physically from the rehab unit, but was elevated to hospice care in the same room, which made it a lot easier in terms of not having to be moved when he was so physically compromised.
The care more than met standards; some of the staff even made food and drink preparations for me in Dad's room.
After that experience, I would never, ever consider a for profit hospice.
You can call more than 1 Hospice and ask each to evaluate her. Interview each Hospice just like you would any Medical professional and select the one you like.
Calling Hospice is YOUR choice NOT the facilities choice.
Im waiting for her doctor to return my call.
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Call a local hospice organization or two; try to find a non profit one. Make an apppointment.
Gather mom's medical records for the last 6 months and call the administrator and SW on a conference line. State that you are requesting a Hospice evaluation from "xyz" Hospice organization and the date and time they are coming to see her.
I am just so crazy anxious that I am unable to hold my mothers hand while she is still here with me. I’m vaccinated and wish to be at her bedside. So done with Covid restrictions... like everyone else.